The return of Marky from Sydney, via the wilds of Kamchutka, meant the game was over subscribed and an e-mail debate raged as to how to resolve what may become a regular problem.
For a fleeting moment, it appeared that we may be heading towards a revolutionary mini tournament with 2 starting games of 7, followed by a final table. However, an inability to commit from some of the irregular players and a conservative reluctance to change the status quo on behalf of the regular players (think of the implications for the cash, the points, the table....) meant that order was soon restored and Marky plus the regular 9 sat down to do battle at 20:36.
Sharon immediately set a cracking pace, going all in in the first hand, leading Dean to observe "At least we don't have to measure up." Jude and Barry considered calling for a while, but eventually laid their hands down. It was a wise move on both their parts, as Sharon's two pair would have beaten Jude's top pair and Baz's pocket Ks, over pair.
A number of major pots followed, none of which benefited Barry. Finally, he went all in with AJ, and Sharon called with Qs, which held up. Baz out (10th).
Sharon completed her Borehamwood Bloodbath a few hands later, calling JJ's all in with AJ of her own. JJ punched the air with glee when his JK hit a King on the river, and then left the poker suite shortly afterwards, as Sharon had hit a straight. JJ out (9th).
IJ followed next when Dave's A3 hit A3, to hold up against his KJ suited. IJ out (8th).
Marky spent the early part of the game quietly getting acclimatised to the temperature and the pace, commenting "It's a different game". The task was made difficult by the large number of new rules that have been introduced in the 2 years that he has been away:
- we now play with 2 packs of cards
- we have a £1 levy for the Royal Flush pot
- we burn cards
- we have smoke breaks
- we allow players who accidentally fold their hand on the big blinds to get them back
- other than that special rule for the benefit of our players with special needs, the friendly game of poker is dead
- the only officially sanctioned reason for being absent from the table and not having your cards folded is a wee (not wii) break.
- we do not fart in the poker suite
After absorbing most of these rules, and flouting the last one several times, Mark took his first scalp, calling Dean's QJ all in with KJ which held up. Dean out (7th) but revenge would be his later.
In the next hand, Mark gave Dan a lifeline (but not from the noxious fumes he was dispersing around the poker suite) after his straight draw got lucky against Marky's top pair. Jude then showed how grateful she was to see our returning traveller, calling his all in with her pocket 3s which held up against his Q7.
Decimated, the very next hand he could have had an opportunity to quintuple up and then grind his winnings for the next 3 hours to truly celebrate his return to the game. Unfortunately everyone in the hand laid it down when Sharon went all in after the flop. Her aces held up and Mark was out (6th), with no major chances to pump and grind. Don't worry, there's always the second game..
Jude was out next (5th) after her AQ ran into Dan's AA.
'Justice' was declared by Dave, when his pocket 7s tripped up on the river to defeat Sharon's K10, which had hit a 10 on the flop. Shaz out (4th)
Lee's pocket 3s were not good enough to stand up to Dan's AK which hit a King and Lee exited (3rd).
Heads up started at 23:10 and was a short lived affair. Dan won with pocket Aces, holding up against Dave's KQ, which hit a King.
Well done Dan!
Game 2 – 8 players - (1st Dean, 2nd Mark, 3rd Lee)
A much improved earlier start saw us kick off at 23:24. Dave won a massive pot in the second hand, after he hit a straight on the turn against Dan and JJ.
Dave's newly won stack was soon decimated, when he ran into Dean's trip kings with only AJ.
"Well that's the end of a miserable night of poker for me" he declared and it was shortly afterwards, care of JJ's QQ which held up against Dave's A9. Dave out (8th)
Dean, who had promised not to mention his plans all night and stuck to it, was most annoyed after he was dealt an Ace of spades but it flipped over. He ended up with 42 suited of spades, and wasn't cheered by Barry, who earnestly reassured him that he would rather get 24 suited then A2 suited. Confused? Well according to Barry your chances of a straight flush (that incredibly common hand that is well worth factoring into your poker play) are increased with 24 suited over A2. He told us his calculation ignored the benefits of having an ace, but he couldn't explain why.
Mark rescued us from further choice Baz poker tips by farting, causing Lee to remind him "You're not on Bondi beach now." Dean's trip 9s then rescued Dan from the poor air quality in the suite, beating his pair of Qs. Dan out (7th)
In a rare moment, Dean finally conceded that he was wrong: he had boldly asserted that he would have folded Mark's all in, WHATEVER cards he had. When asked if he would honestly have folded pocket kings (there was a King on the board) he reluctantly conceded that he wouldn't have, but only after about 4 attempts to stand by his 'whatever' statement.
Dean soon reminded us all of how right he can be about some things when Dan disputed the amount of chips in a particular pot. While Dan was spending 10 mins piling and counting and recounting the chips, Dean quietly told us that he would bet the last pound in his pocket that Dan ends up wrong at the conclusion of this performance. What do you know? It turned out that Dan admitted he was wrong, and what had been proposed about the pot was correct all along. Another 10 minutes of our lives gone.
IJ went all in with J4 and thought he was safe when Mark made a compulsory call, despite only having 89. The relief was short lived as Mark hit a full house on the flop, ignoring IJ's flush on the river. IJ out (6th)
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Baz continues:
JJ out next (5th) to Mark's nut flush on flop - Mark big chip leader.
Barry all in (AJ) - Mark called with QK and kit trip Q's.
Barry out (4th) and Mark absolute monster chip leader.
------------------------------------
Lee continues:
Basically Dean was nearly out - then all 3 of us went all in.
- I had J 4
- Dean KQ
- Mark 10 7
- 4 came on turn
- then Dean hit 4 running diamonds to triple up with a flush
- I went out shortly after (3rd)
- Dean, without plans or other distractions, actually played very well to get to virtually even chips with Mark
-then check raised with pocket 10's
- Mark bought it and it was all over.
Dean 1st
Mark 2nd.
-----------------------------
So hard luck to Chemical Marky - next week perhaps a little more attention to the grinding and a little less of the gas attacks?
Well done Dean - first win of the year!!
2008 Poker Rankings Table:
Dan's first game victory has restored the previous order at the top of the table, dislodging Barry with a healthy 5 point lead. Lee closes the gap with Baz to go level on points, but remains stuck below him due to Barry's extra win.Dave's 'miserable night' widens the gap with IJ to 5 points & Dean's first victory in '08 propels him out of 10th and into 7th, ahead of Sharon & JJ, who is still nestling in the comfort of being behind Vic.
Mark's late night 2nd place gave him points from his first appearance in 2 years, ensuring that he enters the table ahead of the collection of irregular players with 'nil points' who hide in shame at the bottom of our table.
Conversation topics:
Accusations about the veracity of the blog flew around the poker suite.
Dean accused your blogger of sensationalism, taking a germ of truth and spinning it into pure fiction. The disputed entry was from last week, (written by and attributed to Dan) which reported the following:
"Lee was third, Dean (still reading his plans) was 2nd and Barry won."
Dean maintained his slanderous attacks on the blog, accusing it of being akin to the News of the World, despite confirmation from witnesses that he did indeed read his plans for the majority of the second game.
He was even unmoved by Lee's acknowledgement that his plan reading wound him up to the unprecedented point that he actually wanted Barry to win. Eventually Dean ended the conversation with the insightful statement "The point is.. .... .... Whatever."
Dan was sporting a delightfully large new bluetooth headset, complete with the latest military technology enabling it dampen all unwanted sound. He's had it tuned to block Gaby's frequencies.
Dan also supplied this helpful fashion tip:
"You can never feel cold in a scarf"
Useful Legal help for those who think they've been libelled:
Under English common law justification is an absolute defence for defamation, ie if something is true there can be no liability for defamation.
Moreover, it is well established that the statement doesn't have to be entirely true, as long as it is substantially true. Take this old case from 1865:
Posters were put up all over railway stations stating that a fare evader was caught and imprisoned for 3 weeks. The evader was very upset and sued for defamation as he had only been imprisoned for 2 weeks.
Bad news for him: the judge said the mistake wasn't libel because the poster was 'substantially true'. (Alexander v North Eastern Railway Co)
In a more recent case Irving v Penguin Books (2001), David Irving lost his libel case against Deborah Lipstadt, although he successfully managed to prove that he did not attend a number of extremist meetings with Hezbollah and neo-Nazi types which her book accused him of addressing.
However, despite the acknowledged inaccuracies, the judge still ruled that he had not been defamed as the book's central charge, that he was a holocaust denier, was true.
So have no fear: as long as what you say or write is substantially true (in the eyes of a 'reasonable man') you are safe from defamation actions in England.
Jokes of the week
Bit sparse this week, but thanks to JJ for this:
that's all folks,
enjoy the Easter bank holiday...
ij
