Our 9 players started play at 20:46 without Dean who unfortunately had to miss poker in order to chair a meeting on Microsoft Excel. So spare a thought for us, Dean. We could only spend an evening player poker with our friends. No where near as much fun as your night....
Having said that, we did have to suffer Sharon's favourite cheesy 80s album. Her tactic of numbing our minds with Rick Astley, Jason Donovan and other forgotten gems from the Stock, Aitken & Waterman stable was ultimately successful but at what cost?? Although Jude did enjoy the Take That...
On to the poker: Baz demonstrated once again his inability to get an accurate read on someone, after making us wait forever to decide what to do in a hand against Sharon. He had top pair, with a King kicker and a straight draw, when Sharon went all in. After a protracted delay, which included a coin toss (although he didn't actually look at the result), he eventually made a dramatic lay down. Shaz took a large pot and didn't refrain from telling him that she only had 10s with a straight draw, so he was well ahead.
He consoled himself by reminiscing with Dave about all their favourite characters from Prisoner, one of whom Dave has named his new puppy after but more on that in our special feature below.
Dave was our first casualty of the evening, first losing heavily to JJ when his A10 was beaten by J's AK, which hit a K. Sharon then finished him off: her A3 hitting a lucky 3, beating his A7. Dave out (9th).
Baz adopted JJ's violent behaviour when IJ got very lucky to knock him out (8th). Barry had gone all in, confident his Ks were good. IJ called with Qs, which turned into a full house, at which point Baz lashed out at him, steaming with rage. He later apologised, so all is forgiven but the Borehamwood community may wish to invest in anger management sessions for some of its residents....
IJ then doubled up against JJ, when his Js held up against JJ's AK.
Lee doubled up at Mark's expense, his KQ holding up after inducing a compulsory call from Mark with Q8.
Mark then fell victim to JJ, his A2 not strong enough for J's AQ. Mark out (7th)
Lee then doubled up at his wife's expense, his J6 hitting 2 pair.
Shaz wasn't down for long, doubling up against Jude, who's A10 got unlucky after Shaz's K5 hit a K.
At this pont Dave thought it would be funny to wipe his wet umbrella slowly across the back of IJ's neck. Not content with the lack of reaction that this produced, he then wiped it across IJ's face. If IJ was from Borehamwood, Dave may have ended up with that umbrella protruding from his backside....
Spurred on by Kylie and co, Shaz then dispatched both Jude & JJ in one hand. Jude went all in with KQ, which JJ re-raised all in with 4s. Shaz called and saw her AJ hit a straight on the river. Jude out (6th). JJ, his usual up and down, yo you ride over for another week, exited calmly (5th). But he was storing his anger for the 2nd game....
Lee & Sharon got busy again, but kept us waiting for the first game's denouement, splitting the pot with AQ a piece.
Dan went all in with J2 which elicited a call from IJ with J10, knocking Dan out (4th).
IJ was quickly cut to size by the unstoppable Mrs Young, who doubled up with 10s, after he called her all in with KJ suited, which hit nothing.
Decimated, IJ exited soon after (3rd) to Sharon's trip Aces.
Sharon wasted no time in a romantic heads up against Lee. They started at 23:04 and she'd won by 23:06. The final hand was cracking: the flop was 3 Kings, and the turn brought a 2. Lee hit a full house but didn't raise enough to scare off Sharon, who called and hit a 10 on the river, giving her a better full house.
Well done Sharon!
Game 2 – 6 players - (1st IJ, 2nd Baz, 3rd JJ)
We were down to 6 players in the second game by the time we kicked off. Dan, who had left earlier due to his twin sisters staying, returned but Dave, who had waited around for hours after going out first in the first game, left, just as play was about to start.
JJ started off on his usual, impressive early game form, raising £6 and then calling Mark's re-raise all in. He had caught runner, runner to hit a straight, which devastated Mark's trip 5s, leaving him with preciously few chips.
IJ then took those off Mark, who went all in with AK. IJ called with 7s, as did JJ with Qs. IJ got lucky and hit a full house, doubling up at JJ's expense & knocking Mark out (6th).
Dan arrived at this point, having missed a couple of blinds and became very confused as to where all of our chips had come from. Despite only Mark going out, Dan couldn't understand why everyone else looked like they had so many more chips than him. For once, Dan didn't pursue this quandary for hours, but got on with losing the chips he did have.
He went all in with AK and was gratefully called by Baz, who had the nut flush. Dan out (5th).
Lee went out next, after his QQ turned into a flush, but that wasn't enough to beat IJ's nut flush. Lee out (4th).
Baz's 78 got very lucky against JJ's AQ, which provoked a brief flash of JJ's wrath. He violently flung one of his remaining chips at Barry, a flash of pure Borehamwood rage. However, he quickly regained his composure, in time to lose his remaining chips to IJ. J hit a straight on the turn, but IJ hit another flush on the river, to knock JJ out (3rd). As JJ said, "Thank goodness I've got no chips left to throw at you."
Heads up began at 01:09, and with IJ holding 90% of the chips, the outcome was never in much doubt. Barry kept his cool, but lost his chips and IJ secured victory at 01:16 when his KQ held up against Baz's K8.
Well done IJ, second 2nd game win in a row!
2008 Poker Rankings Table:
No change at the top this week, but Lee has closed the gap by a point to put him 3 points behind Baz.IJ's 2nd game win and no points for Dan or JJ meant IJ is now 9 points ahead of Dave, and only 6 points behind JJ. Another night like this one and he might swoop into third.
Sharon's 2nd win of the year moves her up a position, ahead of Jude, and only a point behind Mark and Dean.
Conversation topics of the week:
Before we'd even sat down for the first game, Jude dropped Sharon in it with her mum who had called to speak to her. JJ answered the phone to his mother in law and took it into the kitchen to ask where Sharon was. Jude loudly told him that "She's out smoking, can you believe it!?!"
Best of luck Sharon, hope you've managed to explain everything to your Mum but tread carefully: you're only 35 and a married mother of three.
Dan provided further insights into life at Accenture: he has been removed from his project and replaced by two cheaper androids. Looking on the positive side, it means Dan no longer has to drive to Reading every day, which is lucky as his car has suffered a fatal engine failure (olevah shalom). On the negative side, it means he has no more paragraphs to check.
Rather than hang around the house all day, ignoring instructions from Gaby, he has been going into Accenture Towers and has taken to wondering into Dean's Senior Executive Suite, where Dean has been happily farting the 18 hours a day he spends in there.
We all shared Sharon's disbelief that Alfie's nursery had insisted that they cannot deviate from their policy that all children must go outside at playtime, even if it is pissing it down with rain.
Dan expressed his hopes that some fool may buy his car on ebay. It has already attracted a few bids, despite being firmly in the 'non-runner' category.
Finally, the boys tried to remember any of the characters in Tour of Duty, but then most of them died a hideously gruesome death before you got a chance to really appreciate their multiple dimensional characters.
http://www.tourofdutyinfo.com/
Introducing: Bea
Bea is Dave's puppy. She is a Chocolate Labrador who was born 8 weeks ago last Saturday and Dave has named her after 'Top Dog Bea' his favourite character from Prisoner Cell Block H.
According to Dave, she is pooing and weeing with abundance and has the fluffiest ears he's ever stroked.
Question of the week:
Q. If Barry, our resident boxer, went pro, what weight would he be?
A. Featherweight? be serious....
Welterweight? yeah, right...
Lightweight? not in this department...
Cruiserweight? well he does like cruising...
Heavyweight? you know it makes sense...
Lee actually supplied an answer of his own: Butterbean 
(thanks Lee for the photo of Eric Butterbean. We can all see the likeness to Barry...)
That's all for this week,
ij
