Your blogger was an hour late this week and before he'd arrived, both Jude & JJ were out, 10th & 9th respectively.
Barry was next, going all in with deuces, which Julian called with A10 clubs and Dean called with 10s. Dean ended up hitting a spade flush and knocking Baz out (8th) with Jules folding, having donated a lot of chips to Dean.
IJ went out (7th), going all in with JQ suited, only to be called by Sharon who had AK and then hit an Ace.
Jules was knocked out (6th) after he called Dan's all in, and Dan's 10s held up against his A3. Had Dean stayed in the hand, his 9s would have tripped up and knocked them both out.
Lee went out (5th), going all in with A4, which Dean called with Q9, and hit a 9.
Dean then exited himself, after Marky's A7 turned into a straight, destroying Dean's J8. Dean out (4th).
Sharon went out (3rd), her K7 going up against Dan's A8, which held up.
Dan entered head's up well behind Mark, but in one big win he put himself in pole position, with Mark reduced to little more than the big blind. However, Mark wasn't done, and echoing Dan's amazing come back from the dead against Scott last week, he doubled up 3 times in a row to claim victory at 22:52.
Dan was understandably miffed, but took comfort in the fact that he had money for the second game, affirming his strategy of only coming to poker with a tenner really focuses his play.
But major congrats to Marky on his 2nd win of the year, coming only 2 weeks after the first.
Game 2 – 8 players - (1st IJ, 2nd Mark, 3rd Lee)
The 2nd game got going at 23:05, and Julian made a rare 1st hand exit after getting all excited with 2nd pair and a straight draw and going all in. Unfortunately for the good doctor, Mark had hit the nut straight and knocked him out (8th), amassing twice as many chips as all the other players.
The game continued at a steady pace, which proved too much for Dean, who was exhausted and incoherent. At one point he was overheard talking to his blackberry saying 'I can't make that meeting you stupid bitch.' You know things are bad for Dean when he slags off his blackberry, the ultimate love of his life. In a catatonic state, he went all in with A2, silently pleading with someone to knock him out and let him go to bed. IJ took pity and made a mercy kill with 4s, which held up. Dean asleep & out (7th).
In a massive hand that ended well for all but Barry, he went all in ahead with AK, to be called by a virtually dead Dan with 10 8 and IJ with AQ. The table cards brought an 8, a 10 & a Q, which tripled Dan up and handed IJ the rest of Baz's chips. Baz s out (6th) and was shellshocked, wandering around the room swearing, telling IJ "If your car wasn't so fucked up, I'd key it."
Dan immediately gave away his new chips, going all in with A10 and getting called by JJ with J10, which hit a J. Dan exited (5th) bemoaning the fact that he has not won a 2nd game for 17 weeks.
With 4 players left, JJ exhibited his darker, violent side. He raised with Qs, only to be re-raised all in by Mark with A8. JJ called, only to explode in rage when Mark hit a straight on the river. Before the last card had even hit the table, he totally lost it, flinging his chips violently across the table towards Mark's stacks, knocking them all over the floor. The room was a heady mix of chips and anger, with JJ fuming about the 'shocking beat'. JJ (out 4th) in a fug, had lost his composure and surely must be considered up for a serious reprimand for behaviour unbecoming a 7-year old.
The other players continued in a subdued atmosphere, IJ & Lee taking in turns to deal, while Mark slowly gathered his scattered chips and rebuilt his now massive stacks. IJ & Lee's idle speculation about which of them would succumb first was settled, when IJ hit a full house and beat Lee's A10 suited. Lee out (3rd) and Mark looked set to take his first double of the year.
Heads up began at 01:05 with small scale skirmishes, until the hand of the night knocked Mark off course from what seemed certain victory.
The turn brought another low card and Mark, figuring that his Kings were good, raised a pile of each. IJ reluctantly called.
The river brought sod all and Mark raised 2 piles of red. IJ re-raised all in and prayed for a call.
His prayers were answered, as Mark calculated that it was so unlikely that IJ had an ace. He was remarkably unimpressed when he saw IJ had 4 Aces and won most of his chips.
Final hand came at 01:38, after IJ went all in with K9 and Mark called with K6. They both hit 2 pair but IJ's gave him victory.
Well done IJ!
2008 Poker Rankings Table:
With neither Baz nor Lee picking up any points this week, there is no change in the top 2 positions. However, the next 4 spots have rotated, with Dan sneaking a point ahead of the Incredible Hulk (aka JJ) and IJ moving into 5th, three points above Dave.Conversation topics of the week:
The merits of a playroom kept our players occupied during the 2nd game, replacing the usual low level filth. Once we'd got over our shock that Judianne had prised their house plans out of Dean's hands for long enough to remove the basement playroom, we turned our minds to whether you need a playroom or not (personally, I do not). After all, won't the kids' toys get all over the place, without a playroom to hide them all in?
Dean pointed out that they will have a toy store in the loft, but what happens when the kids bring all the toys out of the loft and play with them in the basement? There'll be a terrible mess.
Dan suggested building an integrated logistics system into the core of the house, complete with bar codes in all the toys and a scanner to locate them.
Dean was not amused and asserted that he was not designing their whole house around his children's current ages. Will any of them still be leaving toys all over the house in 10 years time?
The only other notable conversation I can remember, was news that Dan's newly bought car engine has packed up, 2 weeks after its 3 month warranty expired. As if that wasn't galling enough, Gaby has told him that he can never buy a car again....
Jokes of the week
Thanks to Dave for this lot:
"OK" says the girl, "I'll charge 100 quid an hour"
"Is goot" says the German, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky"
"No problem" she replies cautiously, "I can do a little kinky"
So off they go to the girl's flat, where the German produces four large bedsprings and a duck caller.
"I vant you to tie ze springs to each of your limbs."
The girl finds this very strange, but complies, fastening the springs to her hands and knees.
"Now you vill get on your hans and knees."
She duly does this, balancing on the springs.
"You vill please blow zis vistle as I make love to you."
She finds all this very odd, but figures it's harmless, and after all the guy is paying. The sex is fantastic. She is bounced all over the room by the energetic German, all the time honking on the duck caller. The climax is the most sensational she has ever experienced, and it is several minutes before she has recovered her breath.
Finally she gasps "That was totally amazing....... what do you call that?"
"Ah", says the German, "Four-sprung duck technique"
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Proof That The World Is Nuts
In Lebanon , men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.
(Like THAT makes sense..)
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In Bahrain , a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.
(Do they look different reversed?)
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Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers. The sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.
(A brick?)
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The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.
(Much worse than "going blind"!)
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There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time. Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.
(Let's just think for a minute; is there
Any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)
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In Hong Kong , a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's illicit lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.
(Ah! Justice!)
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Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool , England - but only in tropical fish stores.
(But of course!)
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In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.
(Makes one shudder at the thought.)
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In Santa Cruz , Bolivia , it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.
(I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)
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In Maryland , it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: Prophylactics may be disp ensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises."
(Is this a great country or what? Well, not as great as Guam !)
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Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Who volunteers for this stuff?)
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Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)
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The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
(From drinking little bottles of???)
(Did the government pay for this research??)
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Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Ah, geez.)
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An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)
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Starfish don't have brains.
(I know some people like that, too.)
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And, the best for last?
Turtles can breathe through their butts.
(And I thought I had bad Breath in the morning!)
That's all folks!
ij
