26 December 2007 (The Poker Suite) - "JJ takes the top spot - but now it's time to Blog off..."

Game 1 – 8 players - (1st JJ Champion of 2007, 2nd Charlie , 3rd Dan):

Lee hit 4 cards to a spade royal flush, but no more for the £73 in the pot. Close, but no cigar yet !
Lee wins nice pot with AA vs my 88

Charlie doubled up with nut flush vs JJ

Sharon lost chips to Lee

9J7 on flop and Sharon all in (Q10). I also all in (AJ) and Charlie calls (KK)
but a K on the turn gives sharon a straight and Charlie trips - but another 7 on the river gives Charlie full house and me and Sharon out.

Dave out next to Charlie

Lewis out next to JJ's 2 Pair (AQ)

Charlie (AJ) luckily doubles up vs Dan's AQ with flush

Lee out next to dan

JJ knocks Dan out in 3rd

and heads up, Charlie claws his way back with AA, but JJ finally takes the game, and the Championship of 2007. Well Done.



Game 2 – 8 players - (1st JJ (Champion of 2007), 2nd Dave (Runner up 2007), 3rd Lee):

Dave flopped 4 8's to win nice pot vs my 99

Lewis (10 10) vs JJ (JQ) - A 10 on flop but K on river gives JJ lucky straight and Lewis home

I hit 4 to Royal flush but no more, but hit Q high flush to win nice pot

Dan doubles up vs JJ (J3) with 10 8 (hit 8 !)

But Dan out next to Sharon's 2 pairs (A6)

Charlie (A7) out next to Dave's A3 after A on flop, but Dave hit lucky 3 on river

JJ doubled up vs Dave

Lee had full house on flop to win nice pot vs Sharon

I out next to JJ....

..and Lee out in 3rd. Heads up between the top 2 of the table, saw JJ (JJ) vs Dave (88) but 2 Jacks on the flop, and JJ finishes the year winner, with 4 Jacks and top of the table, with Dave 2nd. Well done both of you.



FINAL 2007 Poker Rankings table:

£'s won or lost in final column for those that care !




(Slight) Review of the Year:

The main highlight (non poker related !!) of 2007 was that there were 4 poker Elite babies born - Dean & Jude, Barry & Caroline, Lee & Sharon and Dan & Gabby were all parents for the 3rd time this year. May all our children grow up to be happy and healthy, and better at poker than their father's !

On the poker side, we finally moved into the suite (14th March). Dave won the first game of the year, I won the first game in the suite (for trivia fans, Scott won the first hand in the suite !), and JJ won the final game of the year.

JJ and Dave battled it out at the top of the table for most of the year, with the top spot still up for grabs until the final week. But JJ winning the first game of the last week secured top spot for himself. Well done. But just for ood measure, he won the 2nd game too, meaning a free burger for me next week !!!

Lee played most games (96) out of a possible 103 games, with JJ, Dan, Barry and Dave all playing over 90 games.

Amazingly, the runs of consecutive wins was pretty impressive this year - JJ in June, had 6 wins and a second place out of 7 games, with an unprecedented, and still unequalled or unbeaten, 4 consecutive wins. Up until that point (whilst Dave was in Vegas), Dave was way ahead in the league, but JJ's run, took him straight to the top. Myself and Dan both had 3 consesecutive wins in July/ August.

And I can't write my last blog without mention of poor old Vic, who in 2 years of poker, since the blog began, still hasn't won a game. May 2008 bring you your first win, Vic !

Thanks of course, the the Young's and Jayson's for their hosting for this year, and to Lee for making sure the email is sent out religiously every monday morning.

And on that note, that's all for this blogger for the year, and in fact for ever. I would say it's been fun, and pleasurable, but that would be a lie - it's been a pain in the arse and hopefully next year I'll have the same success (and luck) as the previous blogger in his post-blogging year ! Thanks to all those who sent links, stories or jokes for inclusion in the blog. I now hand over my blogging hat to Ilan, a hat I never intend wearing ever again !!

Have a happy and healthy 2008, and may all of us enjoy another great poker filled year.


B.

19 December 2007 (J&D's) - "And the bells are ringing out on christmas day....."

Game 1 – 6 players - (1st Lee, 2nd JJ, 3rd Bazza):

Jude (straight on flop) knocks Sharon out fisrst (nut flush draw on flop)

Dave (99) all in. I call (66) - a very lucky 6 on the flop, cremates Dave's stack, and Dave out soon after to JJ

Due to only 6 players, and us not changing the blind structure to match, we were at the max blinds at 9.30 !!!

Jude swallowed a whole lychee stone, and is waiting for it to come out in her next poo !

JJ crippled by Lee (I would have knocked Lee and JJ out if I had called with 77), but JJ doubles up 3 times in a row (actually one was a triple up)

Jude (A2) - JJ (JJ) and Lee (AK ) - All all in. 3QQ 10 3 on board and JJ monster chip leader - Jude few chips left and Lee crippled.

Jude out next hand

I double up vs JJ with full house

JJ doubles up again with KK (full house) vs Lee's KQ

Lee (A8) hits jammy c*nt nut flush vs my A10 - me out in 3rd

Lee (A10) JJ (A2) heads up and Lee takes the first prize.


Game 2 – 6 players - (1st Jude, 2nd Sharon, 3rd JJ):

In an unprecendented move, as we finished so early, both girls played a second game.

Jude (KK) hides her delight very well, when the flop shows 2 more Kings, to win nice pot vs Lee (could have been very expensive for Lee if he had have hit anything half way decent !!)

Jude won nice big pot vs me with AQ - nut flush - to my 75 flush

I (AJ) knock Dave (KQ) out hitting an Ace

JJ won nice hand vs me with AK vs A4

me (QQ) all in. Jude calls with KK (DOH !!!) and like my reversal hand last week vs Dave, the Kings hold up and I'm sent home in the -3 degrees temperature.

JJ in 3rd, and the girls heads up (who convinced them to play 2nd game ????) - Jude wins vs Sharon


Poker Rankings table for this week:

With one week to go, Dave needs at least a win to hope of victory over the year:






News for this week:

If a holy man has healing powers in his leg, and you need healing, what do you do ?....

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/south_asia/7142920.stm



What was he doing ???

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/manchester/7131532.stm



Contributions of the Week:


following on from last weeks, another from JJ :

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=WEE_E90COwA



And on that note, that's all for this week. Last blog next week. Yippppppppppeeeeeee
B.

12 December 2007 (The Poker Suite) - "Shivering in the Suite..."

Game 1 – 9 players - (1st Barry, 2nd Dan, 3rd Scott):

JJ lost chips early to Jude

I won nice pot vs Scott with full house

JJ knocked out by JJ with JJ (work that one out !)

I won nice pot vs Dan's nut flush draw with straight on flop

Scott (57) doubled vs Dave (44) after Dave hit trips on the flop (6 8 4)- but Scott hit lucky straight !

Me (22) knock out Dave (A5)

Charlie out next to Sharon's AQ

Lee out next to Scott's trip Q's

I (K5) knock Sharon (A3) out after she hit 3 on flop and went all in, and I called after hitting K on flop

I then knock Jude (K9) out with trip 5's

Dan knocks Scott out in 3rd

Heads up a huge swing hand for me (23) - I reraised all in and Danfolded (2 10) - both hit 2 on turnand final hand - I hit flush and got as close as is possible to the elusive Royal flush - holding 9 diamonds with AKQJ diamonds on the board. DOH !


Game 2 – 6 players - (1st Dave, 2nd JJ, 3rd Barry):

I won huge hand and doubled up early on after a strange call by Charlie. A and K on flop. I have A5 and go all in after lots of raising and reraising by Charlie. Charlie calls with K2 and is severly shortstacked

JJ won nice pot vs me with full house

Charlie out first (A10) after hitting 10 to JJ's QJ (Q on flop)

I (8 10) knock Lee (AQ) out after hitting 8

Dan out in 4th to Dave

JJ knocks me out in 3rd

and heads up, JJ in true classic JJ style, goes all in pre flop with suited 36, to be called by Dave, who, with a grin the size of his soon-to-be-his-new-house's-back-garden (60ft !) turns over KK and wins the battle of the league's top 2.


Poker Rankings table for this week:




Congratulations for this week:

To me on my 37th (yes, 37th !) birthday on Friday, and to Charlie and family on finding out their baby due next year is gonna be a boy.



Contributions of the Week:

Jewish theme this week -
My dad, JJ and Dave. Cheers.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=4FVeMcgJs-U
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1uZ_W7atDE
http://www.aish.com/jewlariousMultiMedia/jewlariousMultiMediaDefault/Ho_Ho_Chanukah1.asp
http://youtube.com/watch?v=4noZTx8UIXE

why there are no speeders in Denmark ! http://www.speedbandits.dk/

And on that note, that's all for this week.
B.

4 December 2007 (The Poker Suite) - "Hello, Jonathan speaking....."


Game 1 – 8 players - (1st Dan, 2nd Bazra, 3rd JJ):

What a first hand. I look at my cards and delight in seeing KK (one diamond). I raise £2. Dave reraises £3. I reraise £6. Dave calls. Flop comes 5 9 4 (all diamonds). I raise. Dave calls. 9 clubs on turn and I go all in. Dave deliberates, and eventually calls. He shows a QQ (inc Q diamonds). River card an Ace, and unfortunately for Dave, he is out first, in the first hand.

Soon after JJ raises £3. Dan reraises £5 and Vic (10 10) reraises another £5. JJ folds (QQ) and Dan (KK) calls. A lovely 10 comes on the flop and Vic rejoices and raises. Dan calls. But a King on the river gives Dan an undeserved victory, and Vic short stacked. [JJ would have won with the nut flush !]

and again, soon after, but still in the first round of blinds, Dan (QK) and Vic (Q10) battle it out again, with a Q on the flop and Dan is all in and Vic calls. But a 10 on the turn and Vic doubles up.

JJ took a call on his mobile, and answered it "Hello, Jonathan speaking...". No one actually knew who he was talking about !

Jude won a nice pot vs Lee with AA
Vic won a nice pot vs Sharon with AA

In another hand, Vic turned his cards over and declared "Queen high". However his cards were actually 10 2. Odd.

Lee knocked Sharon out with K10 hitting a 10

Vic (AK) doubled up vs JJ (AQ)

JJ (62) had a flush and straight draw and went all in. Jude thought, and called with A4 (4 on flop). Great call , however JJ hit both his straight and flush, and doubled up.

Jude out next hand to me with J5 after hitting J on the flop, but I had KJ.

Lee out next to JJ's flush

Vic out next hand to Dan's straight

I knock JJ out in 3rd with pocket 6's

Heads up me and Dan - one big hand and Dan big chip leader, and Dan takes the victory soon after.

Game 2 – 6 players - (1st Dan, 2nd Lee, 3rd Dean):

I won nice pot vs Dean with AA

Dean hit 4 to a straight flush (so close!!)

Dave (44) doubled up vs JJ (22) after hitting 4 on the flop

but Dave's disappointing night soon ended as I knocked his 88 out of the house with my, ironically again, KK

Dan wins with A10 vs me (A8 nut flush) and doubled up

And i fell next to Dan, followed by JJ, Dean & Lee, and Dan makes it a double and makes his chance of winning the league in 3 weeks time a slight possibility if he wins the remaining 6 games !!!! Norfolk 'n chance.


Poker Rankings table for this week:





Contribution of the Week:
(Cheers Dad)

Trucks painted to look like something else.......quite cool.....

click to see....





Funny story (2 contributors: me and Dan !) : (this a glimpse into JJ's Future ?)

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/topstories/2007/12/05/dear-mr-fox-please-go-outside-when-you-want-to-fart-it-upsets-other-club-members-89520-20204665/


And this nice pic from JJ - Why it would be a good idea to pay the extra for your full name on your teffilin bag, and not shorten it to four letters !:



Finally a video of a great card trick from Dave:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C96Hc1m7pRU


And on that note, that's all for this week. Last month of blogging for me. 3 more to do after this. Roll on 2008 ! Get your pen, and ideas ready, Ilan !!
B.

28 November 2007 (The Poker Suite) - "Jude plays a blinder"


Game 1 – 10 players - (1st Sharon , 2nd Dave, 3rd Lee):

Jude wins nice pot in first hand with full house (Q's /9's) vs my full house (9's/Q's). Doh!

I hit trip 6's but got no takers, then trip 10's and all in after flop and large raise by James - James calls and shows pocket 8's and is sent home by my full house!

me and Scott split the pot both with Q10 after both hitting Q on flop

Dave knocks Dan out with trip Kings (Dan AQ with flush and straight draw

Scott doubles up with trip 6's to JJ's AK

Scott declared: "I'm happy to have you Dan, but only on a chair!"

Sharon doubled up with straight vs JJ

Sharon (AK) doubles up again vs my AJ

Jude doubles up with AK vs JJ (JJ very short stacked - down to £2.50)

and JJ out soon after to Scott

Jude masterfully bluffed me off a pot. I had QK and hit a Q on the flop. raised it large. Jude thought, and called. next card an Ace. I raise same again and Jude goes all in. I have to fold. Jude wont reveal. Soon after, with a grin the size of the equator, she finally bursts out with the fact she played a blinder. she had pocket 10's. Well done. Play of the week by a mile.

Lee doubled up vs Dave with full house

IJ out next to me

Sharon tripled up with Q10 vs Dave & Lee

Lee doubled up with JJ vs Sharons A10

Jude knocks me out next with A10 vs Q10

Then Scott, Jude, and Lee next, and heads up, Sharon hit QQ to beat Dave's A6



Game 2 – 7 players - (1st JJ, 2nd Dave, 3rd Dean):

Quote of the week goes to JJ with the classic :
"Shut the door, you c*nts"
to the smokers outside.

Lee full house wins big pot vs me

I won nice small pot vs Dave with Full house (Aces over 7's)

Ilan got closest so far to the ROYAL FLUSH POT with 4 to a royal flush (AKQJ)

Dean wins big hand with flush and Scott crippled, and me out.

../../.. and JJ beats Dave heads up. Dean 3rd




Poker Rankings table for this week:






Contribution of the Week:

(Cheers Dad)

LOSING A FRIEND .
This is a very touching story about life, death and friends.
It's certain to strum your heartstrings and touch your soul.



(thanks to me:)

great games website. lots to keep you busy (JJ):

http://www.onemorelevel.com/


And on that note, that's all for this week.
B.

21 November 2007 (S&L's and Poker Suite) - "2 England tickets for sale. Going cheap (Shite b*stards)"

Game 1 – 10 players - (1st JJ, 2nd Scott, 3rd Jude):

Sharon (JJ) all in - Dan (QQ) calls - Sharon hit J on turn and Dan out


I all in with A9 vs Lewis (A10) - 10 came and I down to 3 chips

Charlie doubles up with AQ vd A9 and A Q on board

Scotty doubled up with KK vs Dave's J9

Me all in with 77, Charlie all in with AA and Dave all in with KJ. 7 on flop and I quadruple up. Charlie doubles up in side pot and Dave short stacked

Dave (A10) all in Scott (KK) and JJ (AQ) for big side pot. Q on flop and Scott doubles up and Dave out

I all in (Q10) Jude - AJ and I am out

Lee out next, followed by Lewis and Charlie

Good call by Scott vs JJ's bluff to win big hand

Sharon all in after hitting straight on flop, only to come up against Scott's flush on the flop. Sharon out

Jude out in 3rd after hitting a K but JJ hit an Ace on river. Jude out.

JJ wins with flush. Scott 2nd



Game 2 – 9 players - (1st Charlie, 2nd Barry, 3rd Ilan):

Chaos at start of game as JJ Charlie and Lewis all knock each others chips over. Dave then knocks over Charlie's wall of chips !

Anyway Dave doubled up with JJ vs Dan's 88

Charlie hits trip 3's vs Lewis's AQ (Q on flop). Lewis out

Scott out next hand with AQ to Ilans AK - K and Q on flop

Me (AK) all in - Dan (AJ) all in. Charlie calls with 55. Dave all in with A6
4K7 on flop and I in lead - 6 and 9 next and no help to anyone else. I knock Dan and Dave out

JJ out next with A8 vs A9 of Ilan

Ilan (AJ) and A8 - Lee. no help and Lee out

Ilan (A7) Me (99) and Charlie (QQ) - Q55 on flop and Charlie wins - Ilan out in 3rd and I very short stacked.

Charlie wins soon after and me in 2nd



Poker Rankings table for this week:




Mazeltov of the Week:

Mazeltov to Gabby and Dan on the birth of Noah Jacob. 4th poker baby of 2007 !!


Football for this week:

England, shit team that they are, are not going to the European championships next summer as they lost 3-2 to Croatia (who we have just drawn against in the World cup qualifiers in 2010). Thoughts, please, on how to spend the month, instead of cheering on England.


War Story of the Week:

As discussed, and offered into the forum by Lewis, Dave's attack on Charlie's chips was like the Schlieffen Plan of the First World War.

details (for those who care) : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schlieffen_Plan


Contribution of the Week:

(Cheers JJ)

Here are 12 of the finest unintentional double-entendres aired on British TV and radio. Some you will have seen before but some are brand new.



1. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator: "And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria . I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"
2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator: "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him."
3. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator: "This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother."
4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977: "Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew."5. US PGA Commentator: "One of the reasons Arnie [ Arnold > > Palmer] is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them ..... Oh my god!! What have I just said ??"
6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live': "You would eat beaver if you could get it."
7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?"
Not only did HE have to leave the set because he was laughing so hard, but so too did half the studio crew.
8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday."
9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North (I saw this one live): "There's nothing like getting a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this."
10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: "Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."
11. Michael Buerk on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage: "They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts."
12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny. Other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."

And on that note, that's all for this week.
B.

14 November 2007 (The Poker Suite) - "Battle of the Ladies"

Game 1 – 8 players - (1st Sharon, 2nd Jude, 3rd Lee):

I won nice pot with AA vs Dan's AK (K on flop). Nice

I won another big pot vs Sharon with 2 pair (vs Q's)

I took 6 hours making a decision after Lee went all in. After ignoring the countdown, and the shouts of "come on" from everyone (except Jude - thanks Jude !) my decision was made for me by Dave who gathered all the cards together and declared the hand over.

Dan was out first to Lee's nut flush

Jude doubled up vs me with AJ vs A7

Ilan out with AK vs JJ's Q7 - A77 on flop !!

Jude (AA) knocked Dave out (K8) with K on flop. Nice

Sharon doubled up with QQ vs Lee's AK

Jude knocked me (KJ) out with A9 - 2 Aces on board and straight draw for me, but never came.

JJ out next, followed by Lee, and heads up between the ladies (first of the year) - Sharon takes the win (her 2nd of the year). Well done ladies !


Game 2 – 6 players - (1st Bazra, 2nd Dan, 3rd Lee):

I won nice early pot with trip Kings

IJ (88) out first to JJ's 10 10

Dave (55) out next to my AQ after a nice Ace on the flop. Dave sent home.

Lee quadrupled up with A10 after no one hit anything !

JJ's luck from the first game deserted him when all in with Q4 vs Dan's Q3 - Dan hit 3 on flop. JJ home in 4th

Lee (A10) vs Dan (KK) - no A came and Lee home, again, in 3rd

Heads up between me and Dan - final hand I hit 2 pair on flop, and Dan has straight and flush draw, but no help for Dan and I win.


Poker Rankings table for this week:





Jokes of the Week:


Dave actually told this joke at the poker table, but it was so good, I'm reprinting it !

5 lads in an Audi Quattro are on the hover cat ferry approaching Ireland. When they get there Paddy pulls them over on the border and says, "Sorry lads, you cant go any further".

"Why?" The driver asks.

"Because there’s 5 of you and this is an Audio Quattro. "

"What’s that got to do with it ?" asks the driver.

"Audio Quattro "says Paddy, "QUATTRO - that means 4 and there’s 5 of you in it".

"What??" replies the driver, "that’s got nothing to do with it, Quattro is just the make of the car, it’s got nothing to do with the number of passengers! "

"Sorry" replies Paddy, "Quattro means 4, you can’t fool me I’m not stupid. There’s 5 of you and you’re not crossing this border in a Quattro."

The driver can’t believe it. He tells Paddy that he wants to speak to his boss immediately.

"Sorry" says Paddy, "no can do. Murphy’s busy right now with 2 wise guys in a Fiat Uno!"


and another joke from me:

One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell.
As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the devil...
Satan: "Why so glum?"
Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"
Satan: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?"
Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."
Satan: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, Tab, and Fresca.
We drink 'til we throw up, and then we drink some more! And you don't have to worry about getting a hangover, because you're dead anyway."
Guy: "Gee that sounds great!"
Satan: "You a smoker?"
Guy: "You better believe it!"
Satan: "All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world, and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer - no biggie, you're already dead, remember?"
Guy: "Wow...that's awesome!"
Satan: "I bet you like to gamble."
Guy: "Why, yes, as a matter of fact I do."
Satan: "Good, 'cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, it doesn't matter, you're dead anyhow."
Guy: "Cool!"
Satan: "What about Drugs?"
Guy: "Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don't mean...?"
Satan: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want. You're dead so who cares."
Guy: "Wow! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!"
Satan: "You gay?"
Guy: "No..."
Satan: "Ooooh, Fridays are gonna be tough




Advert of the Week:

(Thanks JJ) - [click to see]






Daft News Story of the Week:

http://news.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,30200-1292779,00.html



And on that note, that's all for this week.
B.

7 November 2007 (J&D's temp) - "It's tight at the top......."

Game 1 – 10 players - (1st JJ, 2nd Lee, 3rd Jude):

Sharon lost lots of chips early on to Vic's 2 pairs

Sharon then got lucky splitting a pot with Dave after going all in with 10 J vs KJ

Sharon doubled up with A5 vs JJ's A9 with trip 5's

Dan doubled up with AQ vs A8 of Dean after hitting Q on flop

JJ (lucky ****) doubled up with J10 vs my 55 after hitting a 10

Vic out first to JJ's full house

Dean out next to Sharon's AA

Sharon all in with KK ran into Dave's AA and unlike last week, Dave hit A on flop. Sharon out

Dan out next to JJ's AA

Jude (JJ) - JJ (KK)
flop : 8 9 10. turn : A river : 7 - Jude hit straight on river to double up - ouch !

Ilan doubled up vs JJ with AQ vs Q7. JJ very very short stacked

me (99) Lee (AJ) JJ (AK) all all in

J on turn and Lee in heaven until K on river wins it for JJ - I out. unlucky !!!

JJ doubles up again with 10 J vs Lee

And again he doubles up vs Dave with 62 spades and hit a 2 !

Another huge hand:

JJ (AJ) Dave (55) and Ilan (A9)
flop : Q 6 7 and Dave still winning
turn: 9 and Ilan now in the lead, but....
a J on the river sends Ilan and Dave out and JJ (lucky ****) now huge chip monster !

Lee cremates Jude with 4 kings

Jude doubles up twice but fulls in 3rd place to JJ's full house

JJ wins with JQ vs A9 and hits Q on flop. Lee 2nd.


Game 2 – 7 players - (1st Dave, 2nd Dean , 3rd Lee):

I lost shed loads of chips early on with KK being pipped by Lee's AA (Doh !!)

and then I got knocked out by Dean's 2 pairas on the flop to my pocket 8's. Early to bed for me....

blah blah blah until Dave finally takes it vs Dean heads up.


Poker Rankings table for this week:




Rule Amendments:
A few amendments to rules etc this week:


Blinds:

Blinds will start at 50p and go up each round £1, £2, £3, £4, £6, £8, £10 - irrespective of number of players.


Burning Cards:

Majority FOR burning cards. One card to be burnt before flop, turn and river.


Smoking Breaks:

Majority for Smoking break of 5 mins every 90 mins - if anyone wants to have a smoke in between these times then of course they can but if it is their turn and they are not seated at the table then they are folded.



Videos of the Week:

Amazing illusion :


Bull See Saw game:
Very funny, but ouch........http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHnBTqi9Ag8



2 jokes from my Dad:


A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE!

There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!


So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:


Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.

She is intrigued , but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:


Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.


"That's nice", she thinks, "but I want more."


So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:


Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.


"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.


She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:


Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.


"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"


Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:


Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.


She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:


Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.


PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.


-------------------------------------------------


Shmuel had a bad car accident involving a large truck. Weeks later, in court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning Shmuel.


"Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,'?" asked the lawyer.


Shmuel responded, "Vell, I'll tell you vat happened. I just put my dog Moishele, into the..."


"I didn't ask for any details", the lawyer interrupted. " Just answer the question."Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?"


Shmuel said, "Vell, I just got Moishele into the car and vas driving down the road...."


"The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."


By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Shmuel's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his dog Moishele."


Shmuel thanked the Judge and proceeded. "Vell, like I vas saying, I just loaded Moishele, my lovely hundteleh [dog], into the car and vas driving him down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I vas thrown into one ditch and Moishele vas thrown into the other. I vas hurting, real bad and didn't want to move. However, I heard Moishele moaning and groaning. I knew he vas in terrible shape just by his groans.


Den a Highway Patrolman came along. He could hear Moishele moaning and groaning so he vent over to him. After he looked at him, and saw vat terrible condition Moishele was in, he took out his gun and shoots him between the eyes.


Den the Patrolman comes across the road, gun still in hand, looks at me and says, "How you feeling?"


"Nu, Judge, vat vould you say?


And on that note, that's all for this week.
B.

31 October 2007 (The Poker Suite) - "Trick or Treat for Shazza's birthday??"


Game 1 – 9 players - (1st Jude, 2nd Dave, 3rd JJ):

Scott (K9) out first to JJ's (77) flush

I won nice pot vs Sharon's A9 (9 on flop) with flush on river

Jude doubled up with AA vs Dan's JJ

Dan (QQ) all in. JJ calls with 33 but 4 2 6 on flop gives JJ straight draw, only for a 5 to come on turn and give JJ the lucky straight. Dan out.

Dave (KK) Lee (A7 - all in) Barry (KQ) - K on flop and Dave wins. Lee out

Sharon (birthday girl) all in with Q10 - JJ calls with Q10, but JJ hit a flush on the river. Sharon out. nice present from JJ

Jude all in with AQ. I call with 10 10 but Q on flop and Jude doubles up

Ilan triples up with flush vs me and Dave

I triple up vs Dave and Ilan with J9 hitting 9 on flop, but Dave's 88 knock Ilan's AQ out

I all in with A10. Dave calls with 88 - 8's hold up, and I out

JJ out next

heads up Jude has about 10% of chips, and in a big swing hand Jude (AQ) and Dave (A4) and Jude makes a monumentous comeback to take her first win since January, with a lucky straight !


Game 2 – 6 players - (1st Barry, 2nd Dan, 3rd JJ):

I won early pot with 44 vs Lee's AQ, hitting 4 on flop (Lee hit Ace)

Dave (AA) all in against Dan's QQ but a Queen on the turn sent Dave very quickly to the garden for a commiseratory fag before speedily heading home. Unlucky.

Lee out next to Dan's trip Kings

Ilan all in with AQ -- I call the extra £3.25 with J9 and a 9 on the turn sends unlucky Ilan home

JJ all in with 77 and I call with AQ - Q on turn and JJ also unlucky and going home.

Heads up with me and Dan, Dan goes all in with Q8 and I call with 10 10. 8 on flop for Dan, but no more help and I win.


Poker Rankings table for this week:






Royal Flush Pot:

Started this week. Please bring £1 coin with you every week to put in the pot. First Royal Flush, gets the cash. Good luck....... However, Dan proclaimed that if a Royal Flush ever comes on the flop, turn and river for all in the hand to share, he will dance around the table naked. Let's hope and pray that day never comes !!!


Congratulations:

Mazeltov to Sharon on her birthday, Paul and family on the birth of a son, and Ilan's brother on his engagement.



Video of the Week:

Thanks Dave:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1d83XOORP0

Thanks JJ:
http://nz.youtube.com/watch?v=bVq0u1BTGgE

and a nice picture from me for the boys - the cheerleaders came to London this week for the first ever competitive NFL game played outside of the USA: (click to see)




and a joke from moi:



The Jewish Parrot.

Meyer, a lonely widower, was walking home along Delancy Street one day wishing something wonderful would happen in his life, when he passed a pet store and heard a squawking voice shouting out in Yiddish, "Quawwwwk...vus machts du?"

Meyer rubbed his eyes and ears. Couldn't believe it. Perfect Yiddish. The proprietor urged him, "Come in here, fella, and check out this parrot..." Meyer did. An African Grey cocked his little head and said: "Vus? Kenst sprechen Yiddish?" In a matter of moments, Meyer had placed five hundred dollars on the counter and carried the parrot in his cage away with him.

All night he talked with the parrot. In Yiddish. He told the parrot about his father's adventures coming to America. About how beautiful his late wife, Sarah, was when she was a young bride. Ab! out his family. About his years of working in the garment district. About Florida. The parrot listened and commented. They shared some walnuts. The parrot told him of living in the pet store, how lonely he would get on the weekends. They both went to sleep.

Next morning, Meyer began to put on his Tfillin, all the while saying his prayers. The parrot demanded to know what he was doing and when Meyer explained, the parrot wanted to do the same. Meyer went out and had a miniature set of tfillin hand made for the parrot. The parrot wanted to learn to daven and learned every prayer. He even wanted to learn to read Hebrew. So Meyer spent weeks and months, sitting and teaching the parrot, teaching him Torah. In time, Meyer came to love and count on the parrot as a friend and fellow Jew.

One morning, on Rosh Hashanah, Meyer rose and got dressed and was about to leave when the parrot demanded to go with him . Meyer explained that Shul was not a place for a bird, but the parrot made a terrific argument, so Meyer relented and carried the bird to Shul on his shoulder. Needless to say, they made quite a spectacle, and Meyer was questioned by everyone, including the Rabbi and the Cantor. They refused to allow a bird into the building on the High Holy Days, but Meyer persuaded them to let him in this one time, swearing that the parrot could daven.

Wagers were made with Meyer. Thousands of dollars were bet that the parrot could NOT daven, could not speak Yiddish or Hebrew, etc. All eyes were on the African Grey during services. The parrot perched on Meyer's shoulder as one prayer and song passed - Meyer heard not a peep from the bird.

He began to become annoyed, slapping at his shoulder and mumbling under his breath, "Daven!" Nothing. "Daven...parrot, you can daven, so daven...come on, everyone is looking at you!" Nothing.

After Rosh Hashanah services were concluded, Meyer found that he owed his Shul buddies and the Rabbi over four thousand dollars.. He marched home, so upset he said nothing to the parrot. Finally several blocks from the Temple the Parrot began to sing an old Yiddish song, as happy as a lark. Meyer stopped and looked at him. "Why? After I had tfillin made for you and taught you the morning prayers, and taught you to read Hebrew and the Torah. And after you begged me to bring you to Shul on Rosh Hashana, why? WHY?!? Why did you do this to me?" "

Meyer, don't be a schmuck," the parrot replied. "Think of the odds we'll get on Yom Kippur!"



And on that note, that's all for this week.
B.

24 October 2007 (The Poker Suite) - "It's all about the poker......"

Game 1 – 8 players - (1st Barry (1st win since July !!), 2nd JJ, 3rd Sharon):

JJ (AK) should have boon out early on to James's 10 10 but hit A on river

James (QQ) out first to Ilan (AJ) after Ilan hit A on turn

Lee (44) vs JJ (J9) - 9 and a 4 on flop - but two Jacks on turn and river give JJ higher full house and Lee robbed and out.

Ilan (AK) out next to Sharon's 10 10

Dave (A10) out next to Sharon's KK after Dave hit A but Sharon hit nut flush

I (88) knock Dan (K8) out hitting trip 8's

Sharon all in with 88, I call with 10 10 and Sharon stort stacked and out soon after to JJ

Heads up - me (A5) and JJ (K8) - A and K on flop and I get first win in 14 weeks !!


Game 2 – 7 players - (1st Dave (to go top of the table), 2nd James, 3rd Ilan):

Ilan hit four 2's and won nice pot vs James's QQ

Dan got 4 cards of the 5 required for a spade Royal flush (see later). So near and yet so far.

I lost big hand with 2 pair to Dan's straight on the river

Dan (JJ) vs James (KK). First card out is a Jack and James gutted, only for next card to be a K. Dan decimated

Soon after I finish the brutal pillaging of Dan's chips, and send him home a monster hand: 5 8 J on flop and 8 on turn, gives Dan full house and me trips. Dan all in. I call. I losing big time until river card (Ace) gives me higher full house and Dan out.

James string joins

Me (JJ) vs JJ's AK - Jack on flop and I double up

next hand, JJ (AK) goes up against Dave (AJ) and 444A on board gives split pot. Lucky escape for Dave

a huge hand and a huge decision. JJ (A8) all in. James calls with AJ. I call with KK. Ace on flop and James goes all in. I have to decide if he has an Ace. After deliberating for ages, I can't lay down my KK and call. DOH. bad move. I have not very many chips left and JJ out.

next hand I all in with Q5, Dave calls with Q2, and of course Dave got lucky and hit a 2. me out.

Lee out next, followed by Ilan, and heads up, Dave overturns huge chip lead of James's and wins to go top of the table.



Poker Rankings table for this week:




Idea of the Week:

AT LAST. A discussion about the Poker Elite emblem (spade royal flush) finally reaped rewards as Lee suggested that we each put in £1 a week, and the first person to get a Royal flush (any suit) will win the pot. Nice idea. Starts next year.

No extras this week, as, after all, it's all about the poker !!!

And on that note, that's all for this week.
B.

17 October 2007 (The Poker Suite) - "Give me two fives on the flop....."

Game 1 – 8 players - (1st Lee, 2nd Baz the Aged, 3rd Jude):

JJ hit four 8's and wins big pot vs Jude's full house

I won huge hand vs Dan with JJ vs Dan's bluff straight draw

Charlie won big with straight vs JJ's trip 5's

Sharon (58) doubled up with 2 pair vs Charlie's pair of 8's

Dave (A10) all in. Lee calls (AA). Dave out first

Dan (KK) all in. JJ (A3) all in after river. Charlie (AJ) calls after hitting Jacks. Dan triples up. JJ out

Sharon & Jude both double up.

I knock Dan out with pair of 8's vs flush draw

Lee wins shed loads of chips with nut flush vs Sharon

I knock Sharon out with AA hitting additional A on flop !

Jude (KQ) all in - Charlie calls with AQ. K on flop - Jude doubled up

Charlie out next to Lee

I lost lots to Lee - both with straight flush draw but Lee hit straight

I double up twice vs Lee and Jude to become chip leader, but then lost most of them !

I got lucky with K7 hitting 7 on flop. Jude all in with QQ - but 7 on turn and I double up.

Jude doubles up with J10 vs Lee's 99 after hitting J on turn

Jude out next in 3rd to Lee's straight, and heads up with Lee (77) I go all in with 55. Lee wins. me second.



Game – 6 players - (1st Dave, 2nd Baz the Aged, 3rd JJ):

Charlie (AK) all in. Lee calls (Q10) all in. Dave calls (K5). Charlie hits flush. Lee out

Charlie all in with A10. Lucky Dave calls with A4 - but lucky 4 4 on board and Charlie unluckily sent packing home

JJ knocked Dan out next

JJ (AJ) all in. Lucky Dave (A5) calls, and asks for two fives on the flop. As luck would have it, two fives DID appear on the flop and JJ sent packing

Heads up with me and Dave - I all in with A6. Dave calls with A7. 6 on flop, followed by a 7 and Dave wins.



Poker Rankings table for this week:





Quote of the night:

Dan: "I've got an ipod in me!"

Greenday (lyrics) : "get me the fuck right out of here"


Extras of the Week:


A woman sitting in an Adelaide restaurant suddenly began to cough.
After a few seconds it became apparent that she was in real distress.
And two locals, Kenzie and Brian sitting at the next table turned to look at her.
"Kin ya swaller?", asked Kenzie.
The woman signalled "No!", desperately shaking her head.
"Kin ya breathe?", asked Brian.
The woman shook her head "No!!!"
With that, Kenzie walked behind her, lifted up the back of her dress, yanked down her knickers and ran his tongue up and down her bum.
This shocked the woman into such a violent spasm that the obstruction flew out of her mouth and she began to breathe again.
Kenzie swaggered back to his table and took a deep swig of his beer.
Brian said in admiration, "Ya know Kenzie, I'd heard of that Bloody Hind Lick Manoeuvre, but that's the first time I ever seen somebody do it.





Remember Lemmings? Now you can play all the original levels online. love it:

http://www.elizium.nu/scripts/lemmings/




Joke time....





England were playing the Springboks, and after the half-time whistle blew they found themselves ahead 50-0, with Jonny Wilkinson kicking out of his skin. The rest of the team decided to head for the pub instead of playing the second half, leaving Jonny to go out on his own.

"No worries," Jonny told them, "I'll join you later and tell you what happened." After the game Jonny headed for the pub where he told his teammates the final score: 95-3.

"What!!!!" said a furious Phil Vickery, "How did you let them get three points??!"

Jonny replied apologetically, "I was sent off with 20 minutes to go!"




and finally, what a great video of a market in Bangkok !

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1aZFetrUEo0





And on that note, that's all for this week.
B.




10 October 2007 (J&D's) - "Only 11 more blogs to go...."


Game 1 – 8 players - (1st Dave, 2nd Ilan, 3rd Vic):

In a big hand, Dean hit trip 6's (nicely predicted by me) to JJ's AQ (nothing hit) - odd call by JJ.
Shazza also had AQ but folded it earlier)

JJ (77) out soon after to Jude (A8) when an 8 hit on the board

I go all in with 10 10 - Vic calls with A8 (???) and hits a lucky A on river (twat). Me out.

Dean out next, followed by Sharon and Jude

Vic huge chip leader but blows it big time to finish in 3rd.

After what seemed like another 4 hours, Dave beat Ilan heads up.


Game 2 – 5 players - (1st JJ, 2nd Dave, 3rd Barry):

With Dean asleep on the couch, game 2 began...

I (K10) won big hand vs Dave (AA) after hitting K and a 10 on the flop.

Me and Ilan, bored and short stacked decided to go all in blind. Ilan (9 10) wasnt happy when he saw my A K, and Ilan left with £1.25

Ilan out next hand !

Vic followed and I doubled up 3 times from just above big blind sized stack of chips.

However, lucky wanker JJ called my all in (KK) with A 10 and afgter I hit a K on the flop he started to leave. But the Q and J on turn and river gave the lucky c*nt a straight to send me home.

He beat Dave heads up, soon after.


Poker Rankings table for this week:







Extras of the Week:

Most other people play Wii or watch tv once knocked out. Oh no - that's not good enough for JJ.
Caught on camera. Knocked out, or knocking one out ? You decide.....







This was posted on an online City dating site in London . Check the reply from the Morgan Stanley boy.... the most fantastic application of efficient markets I've ever seen!


What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from New York . I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City , so I don't think I'm over reaching at all. Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars,restaurants, gyms-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper eastside so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there?- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

PostingID: 432279810 THE ANSWER

Dear Pers-431649184:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it. Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you! So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out.

It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful"as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout. By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way. Classic "pump and dump."I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

Humbert de Liedekerke Beaufort
Morgan Stanley Fixed Income



And on that note, that's all for this week.
B.


2 October 2007 (J&D's) - "Cream Tea, Anybody ?"

Game 1 – 7 players - (1st Dan, 2nd Dave, 3rd Ilan):

JJ lost lots of chips to Dave - both had nothing except straight draw

JJ wins huge pot with A9 vs my all in JQ spades, Scotts AJ suited and Ilan's A10 suited - only a 9 hit (I had straight flush draw after flop). Me out

I bowled a great Wii game - hitting all pins for spares and strikes exvept last pin (DOH) - for score of 179, and made tea for all using my special 'cream'

Scott out to Dans Flush

JJ out to Dan

Ilan out in 3rd to Dan

Dave, heads up with Dan, lost 2 big hands - A vs K diamond flush and then 2 pair vs higher 2 pair. Dan winner


Game 2 – 6 players - (1st Ilan, 2nd Dave, 3rd Barry):

I won big pot vs JJ and Scott with 2 pair (on turn and river)

JJ out first with 99 vs AK of Ilan and K hit

I (AK) knock Scott out with A10 and hit straight

I (QQ) knock Dan out (A9) hitting A on flop and a Q

I (low straight and straight flush draw) get knocked out by lucky Ilan with a higher straight

Heads up, Ilan beat Dave.


Poker Rankings table for this week:




Conversation Topics:

Jude's house, cream teas, Wii bowling, Dean's Singaporean whore, plus other irrelevant drivel


Quotes of the Night:

Dan: "Your go, c*nt breath"
Scott: "I assume you're talking to me"
Dan "You're the only one that's been sucking gash"


Extras of the Week:

Stick Man fighting game. Quite good
http://www.killsometime.com/Games/Game.asp?ID=634



(click to see large pictures)













And on that note, that's all for this week.
B.

25 September 2007 (J&D's) - "Four-King nice as Dean takes Victory"

With myself, the Youngs and Ilan not playing this week, there was a first for the game - only one game played (Dean didnt feel well, so would have been only 3 for second game !)


Game 1 – 5 players - (1st Dean, 2nd Dave, 3rd Jude):

Dan (88)out first to a very lucky Dave (55) after a 5 hit. JJ then out to Dave with Jacks vs QQ. Dean then hit 4 kings, when holding pocket kings with 3 people still in, and after Jude out in 3rd, Dean takes the spoils vs Dave in heads up. 10.45am finish


Poker Rankings table for this week:





Extra of the Week:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZEDr8Hl6-Q


And on that note, that's all for this week.
B.

19 September 2007 (The Poker Suite) - "Rosh Hashanah axe man thwarted by alert security guard"

Game 1 – players - (1st JJ, 2nd Dan, 3rd Vic):

I lost a few chips to Dan when he called a £3 raise with nothing (AK) vs my pocket 6's, only to hit a K on the river (c*nt)

9 Q 10 on flop, Dave (J9) all in, I call (KQ) - no more help for Dave- Dave out.

AK screwed me again, with Jude hitting a K on river vs my top pair of 10's

Ilan out next to JJ's trips, with a good lay down from Jude (77)

Jude loses big hand to Vic and out next hand or so.

Charlie out with AK to JJ's pocket 10's

Sharon out next to JJ hitting top pair of 10's but losing on kicker (9 to 3)

Lee (A8) out next and me (AQ) to JJ's pocket Kings (straight)

Vic out in 3rd to JJ, and heads up, JJ (A9) vs Dan (A5) with A9 on flop - JJ winner


Game 2 – players - (1st Lee, 2nd Dave, 3rd Dan):

Dave got LUCKY hitting an Ace on the turn to match his AK vs my 77 to send me home first, with my 3rd shafting from AK of the night.

Vic out next, to continue his rubbish form, whilst I played, and beat (2-0) Dean at Wii Tennis. Beautiful !
I am not sure the order of outs, but this week ended up with this, from Dave:

"It was a sickening evening - mostly due to the time but also to the cards being very cruel. Dan was 3rd. We were 3 handed for a very long time and Lee and I eventually played the last hand at 3.05am (a record late finish in the 4 years we have been playing AND I think possibly the longest 2nd game ever too). Having both played sensibly and tightly til that late hour, and with almost identical chipstacks (he had very few more than me) the deck contrived against me when I was dealt 5 8 clubs and the flop come 6 7 9 (two diamonds) raise followed raise ,all in and call for him to show the high straight (8 10). What are the chances of both flopping a straight on the flop. What a waste of good sleeping hours to play all that time (not getting lucky once - unlike others (NOTE FROM BLOGGER - APART FROM WHEN YOU GOT LUCKY AGAINST MY 77 !!) and then have that happen! "

Poker Rankings table for this week:






Conversation Topics:

A weird story from IJ about the shul security letting in a non Jewish guy with a backpack containing 2 axes, a stanley knife and some nunchucks on Rosh Hashanah. They eventually decided to check the bag, saw the contents and had him carted off by the Police. Scary stuff.

other conversations about Yom Tov, Kids, holidays, £80 taxi from East Finchley to Stansted....etc

A question was asked, after talking about bicycles, about the fastest speed on a bicycle. This might answer it: http://www.metro.co.uk/sport/oddballs/article.html?in_article_id=66736&in_page_id=46


Last weeks Quiz Answers:


First black captain of England - Paul Ince
Man U met Chelsea in FA cup once - 1994
Last time non top 4 team won fa cup - everton 1994
No. of toilets in new wembley - 2618

Extras of the Week:


How to Handle a Difficult Customer - For all those who have suffered in customer services:


A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a fancy dress party. He doesn't know what to wear to hide his bald head and his wooden leg so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem. A few days later he receives a parcel with a note:


Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a pirate.


The man thinks this is terrible because they emphasized his disability, so he writes a letter of complaint. A week passes and he received another parcel.


Dear Sir,

Sorry about the previous parcel. Please find a monk's habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part.


The man is extremely furious now, because the company has gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing attention to his bald head. So he writes a really rude letter of complaint.


A few days later, he gets a very small parcel from the company with an accompanying letter:


Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a tin of Golden Syrup. Pour the tin of Golden Syrup over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your arse and go as a toffee apple


And finally, this beauty of a video from Dave. Very funny

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnpsPYv9EYk



And on that note, that's all for this week.
B.

11 September 2007 (The Poker Suite) - "No fly zone enforced on 9/11"

Game 1 – 9 players - (1st Dan, 2nd Lee, 3rd Sharon):

As is the norm recently, I was out first to Lardy Jackson - but a midly (not) repectable 9.26 pm this week.

Ilan (10 10) out next to Sharons AA

no blog, as I was busy watching Superman returns, but order of outs was Jude / Dave / JJ / Vic (blew huge chip lead in two awful hands of Poker) / Sharon / Lee / Dan


Game 2 – 7 players - (1st Dan, 2nd Vic, 3rd JJ):

Vic won lots of chips against me, proclaiming "Can you beat the nuts ?" after showing four Queens. Smarmy git.

IJ out next to Dans full house

Dan missed out on 4 5's which would have knocked Dave out, but folded as Lee called Dave's all in and lost to Dave's full house

Lee out next to Vic

Dave got lucky to double up with 6K to hit 66 on board vs Dan's JJ

I out next to Vic

Dave out next

Dan continues....
"last three was JJ, Vic and Me.
I must have hit a decent Ace about 10 hands in a row (apart from maybe two hands of garbage) and raised big on all of them. Lots of folding until Vic gets 99 and raises one of each, JJ calls with KQ and I raise all in with AK. Vic folds, J calls and Ace knocks him out.
Next hand I get A7 all in and Vic folds having called the blind
Next hand I get Q10 and call the blind. 10 hits on flop. I check. Vic all in. I call. Vic shows 10 J against my Q10. Fairly typical for Vic."

Even after having the nuts, there's still no win for Vic in almost 2 years...........


Poker Rankings table for this week:






Conversation Topics:

Lots of flies in the suite tonight - although there was one less when Lee caught one in the fly swatter - great shot. Dan tried his hardest to hit one, but after lots of flapping, he just looked a pillock!

With JJ having a test to check his health, and officially finding out that he's fat, here is a picture of his toes, seeing as though he hasn't seen them for a while !!!




Quote of the week:

Lee: "It's alright Dan - Now Gaby's pregnant you don't need the blindfold anymore!"



Quiz of the Week:
(Don't reply - Answers next week)


1. Who was the first black captain of England football team?
2. How many times have Man U met Chelsea in FA cup ? What year(s) ?
3. When was the last time a non top-4 team won the FA cup ? (and Who ?)
4. How many toilets are there in the new Wembley stadium ?




Nostalgic Games site of the Week:


http://www.repton3.co.uk/chuckieegg.aspx


And on that note, that's all for this week.

Have a good Yomtov, and a happy, healthy New Year.

B.

05 September 2007 (The Poker Suite) - "Tension at the table...."

Lee guest blogger for 2nd week running (I'm sensing a theme here...long may it continue), as I left early - bed at 9.30pm on a Wednesday - heaven !!!

Game 1 – 10 players - (1st Ilan, 2nd Charlie, 3rd Jude):

Game commenced at 8.45 - poor effort - next week we revert to 8pm planned start.

Baz was feeling under the weather so it was considered very nice of him to stop by and drop off his tenner before departing for home at 9.05pm - very generous and we wish you well. 2 pairs on the flop to Ilan's trips on the flop - DOH

Not too many memorable hands early on - dave up and down like a french tarts knickers - Dan lost some chips early - Ilan in new raising mode raked in a few substantial pots.

Generally a lot of noise and little action - always a highlight - dean arrives as Barry left - spends the next 30mins gathering his dinner - plays a couple of hands (folding of course) before retiring to the garden to pretend to speak on the phone but really plan how best to wind dan up. Meantime J goes out with a whimper...

Then dean returns with a revelation - he is all in - dan is all in - ilan - chip leader calls -dans's in sorting out the chips - dean is outraged - dan falters - dean is shouting - dan is steaming - there follows hissy fits - threats -tension...then as quick as it all began - ilan just turns over the winning hand to send dan off to Wii land and dean back out to pretend to be on the phone again - but really plotting how he can wind dan up next week.

Lee out next to Charlie "I'll only ever win with blind fu#king luck" Kenton - followed by Dave -leaving Shaz, Jude, Charlie & Ilan...... an hour or 2 later Shaz troops in - then Jude - Ilan scoops the honours - sweetly reminding Charlie that they were neck & neck in the table.

Game 2 – 5 players - (1st Dave, 2nd JJ, 3rd Ilan):

Dan goes first - out to dave (or could have been ilan) - lee next A10 v AK to ilan. JJ builds biglead then raises with two pair - dave goes all in - J calls and dave hits a flush on the river todouble up and leave J short and unhappy. Ilan gives J one final shot by doubling him back up beforetaking his leave leaving Dave and J to battle it out - goes on for a while before they are all in -J hits 10 on flop for pair of 10's - Dave hits Q on the river to take the spoils.


Poker Rankings table for this week:





Conversation Topics:

Jude confessing to sleeping in the au pairs bed - its part of her interview technique apparantly.

Bingo wings...Barmitzvah arms...

Gordons bounce - has bounced.

Next week we play on Tuesday due to yom tov.



Joke of the Week:

MAN IN A BIKER BAR

A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the waiter,"Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair -- given that you are blind -- that you should know five things:
1. The bar tender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. Blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.


Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters,

"No... Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."






Interesting fact of the Week:



very interesting what you find at the highest zoom level



http://moon.google.com/




News of the Week:



one less dwarf to move to Borehamwood......







And on that note, that's all for this week.
B.