Game 1 – 10 players - (1st Dan, 2nd Ilan, 3rd JJ):
First big hand saw JJ (flush) win shed loads of chips off me (straight) and Vic (folded 2 pair)
Jude won 75p with KK
I was out first with 99 to Dan's KK
Jude out next to JJ with a lower full house to JJ's higher one
Dave (A9) out next to Dan (KQ) - K hit
Dean out to Ilan (AJ vs KJ)
Ilan doubled up 3 hands in a row, and knocked Vic out
Lee sent packing by Dan, shortly followed by the Sharon to Dan's KK
JJ loses a big hand to Ilan's AA, and soon fell to Dan, in 3rd place
Dan short stacked and got very very very very very lucky when all in with 77 vs Ilan's KK, with Dan hitting a 7 on the river.
Dan won shortly after. Unlucky Ilan.
Game 2 – 8 players - (1st Dan, 2nd Dean, 3rd Barry ):
Dan won big with QQ turning into a straight flush with 8910J of clubs on board - Dan holding the Q
I doubled up vs Dan (JJ) with AK - hitting A on flop
Ilan out first to Lee
Vic out to JJ
Dean doubled up with 99 vs Dave's 66 (hitting full house)
JJ out with JJ to Dean's QK - Q on river
I won huge hand vs Dave with 55 vs K10.
Dave out to Lee next hand
Lee (A8) doubled up vs Dean's AJ, hitting 8 on flop
Dean doubled up vs Lee with AQ vs AJ
Lee out next to Dean
I was out next (2.50am), and heads up with Dan and Dean.
Dan continues :
"It only lasted about 6 or 7 hands of which it was decided by two hands. First, I (Dan) got exceptionally lucky when all-in pre-flop I had A4 against Dean's A6. Flop came 9A6 making me a massive dog but 88 on turn and river split the pot.
Then with Q7 flop came X77 followed by two customary checks from me until the 10 on the river made Dean top pair and he duly went all in. I gleefully called making my first ever double and putting an end to 2 months of woe." (start writing the "don't gloat" email, Lee)
Poker Rankings table for this week:
Conversation Topics:
Talk was on flooding in England, Jude and Dean's impending move from a 5 bedroom to a 3 bedroomed house, and them having to share a bedroom with Ellie. Dan prattled on about Leeds football club's demise.
Lots of chatter about my man breasts, and breasts in general, and talking of tits, Dan got lucky to win 2 games, so hopefully that'll shut him the f*ck up (as if).
A new Elite Elite membership was discussed, with the hosts, and current blogger granted membership. Obviously all rules are meant to be broken, so I'm sure it won't be long before everyone is a member.
A sweapstake was started on how long it would take Vic to spill his beer, but it was JJ who won clutz of the night by dropping a wine glass.
Dan and Dean sat next to each other (never a good sign) - Dean dropped off to sleep thru the 2nd game - the jetlag taking its toll on his already battered body - Dan's incessant dribble helped Dean stay slightly awake (even when his eyes were closed).
Lee attempted to trap check when he thought he had the winning hand, only to watch two raises to the pot, after his check, and make him realise he actually didn't (saved him a lot of chips, that check).
My name for this week is Bazracadabra. Blogger-to-be-Ilan came up with that beauty.
Heroes started on BBC2 this week. Give it a few weeks for it to get good, but look out for Nikki - very nice !
Pictures of the Week:
Dangers of online dating:
cropped photo:
actual photo:
MOTHER AND DAUGHTER BANNED FOR LIFE FROM DISNEYLAND!:
Videos of the Week:
Japanese Tetris - great !
https://email.standardbank.com/exchweb/bin/redir.asp?URL=http://www.japanprobe.com/?p=2205
Last Year's Blog:
Dave delighted the audience with his close-up magic tricks.
Jude was keen to set the record straight that Dean is not just hard-working at work, but in the kitchen too (and she wasn’t referring to the drains).
Quotes on the night:
Dean on his au pair “She’s got small breasts, but really pert tits and a very tight arse. From the neck down she’s go the perfect body”.
With three players left, Gil finally realised that an earlier comment from Dave didn’t mean that he couldn’t look at his cards when in the blinds !!!
SPECIAL ONE OFF FEATURE : - Tennis Elbow Joke
Especially for JJ.
Computer Diagnosis:
One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. "Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10."
Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks."Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:
"Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They arent yours. Get a lawyer. And if you dont stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better."And on that note, that's all for this week.
B.
