22 October 2008 (The Youngs') "Stupid Fucking Memo"

Game 1 – 8 players - (1st Barry, 2nd JJ, 3rd Shaz)

As play kicked off at 20:35, there was a quick check around the table to be certain that everyone had got the memo: no one was to give any chips to Barry. His memo read slightly differently: 'lose'.
Barry claimed to have suffered a bout of temporary amnesia, supposedly not remembering his victory last week, asking innocently who won last week's first game? Nobody fell for it & it only served to ensure efforts were re-doubled to prevent him winning yet more points.
IJ highlighted the fact that he had learnt nothing from the hiding that he had received with AK last week. He bet big against Mark (his adversary from the last game) but came a cropper when Mark's A10 hit 2 pair, handing over a healthy pile of chips and starting him on the swift road to destruction.
JJ was back to his old tricks, re-raising with 4 5. The shocker was that he was actually ahead, winning chips from Lew.
Sharon showed us all her rebellious streak, defying the rule banning the singing (or humming) of 'You raise me up." Despite the rule being a longstanding one, Sharon insisted that since there was never a vote on any such rule, it must be invalid. She didn't even care that should someone put the rule to a vote, it would inevitably get passed. Baz helpfully pointed out that even if it was voted on, it would still be broken.
At this point, Shaz had had enough & was starting to feel picked on by IJ. He was being really mean about her rule breaking, despite her showing how nice she is by not making the tea round until he arrived. She declared that she would not forget his meanness, but she might be able to forgive him, should she get a good write up in the blog. So, the challenge is on...
Shaz & Marky then ensured that IJ's rudeness did not go unpunished. With few chips left, he went all in blind (3 9) and was knocked out (8th) by both of them hitting 2 pair, Marky with the better one.
The two of them were at it again shortly afterwards, fighting over a monster pot, raising & re-raising like their lives depended on it. Sharon's pocket Ks had trippled up, which Lee said he knew immediately from the glint in her eye. Mark wasn't so wise, reluctantly calling with AK, pair of Ks. Everyone agreed that it would have been impossible to get away from the hand but once again Big Slick cost a lot of chips. Marky's chip stack was decimated, while Sharon was sitting pretty on a well deserved massive pile, every one of which was earned by her superior playing skills.
Lee knocked Lew out, calling his all in with QK, which held up against Lew's K5. Lew out (7th).
Discussion briefly turned towards consideration of whether Dan is the nearest thing we have to Dave. The evidence presented included his storming out last week, only to have to come back sheepishly as he had forgotten something. What about JJ? He has responded to bad beats in a violent and unpredictable manner in the past, whereas Dan is more of a walker outer.
Mark, unable to shake off the red mist of tiltdom, went all in with J7, which was dominated by Barry's AJ. The better hand held up, knocking Mark out (6th) and handing Barry more chips, in flagrant disregard of the memo's specific instructions.
Lee, who as current runner up in the table, should have known better, also ignored the memo. He went all in with AK, despite the bad luck dripping from that evil hand. Barry's pocket Js tripled up to claim yet more chips.
As ever, Lee was not to be written off and somehow magicked up his usual pocket Ks on demand. Dan called with pocket 3s, doubling Lee up.
Lee then continued his regular weekly routine of clawing his way back into the game, knocking Dan out (5th), A7 against 2 3.
Despite the demands of his day job & a High Court action, it turned out that Lee had read the memo: he went all in with Qs, and took a dent out of Barry who called with A10.
Addicted to action, Lee went all in again, falling for the curse of AK. JJ called with 2s (a good hand for J) and consistent as ever, AK cost Lee almost all his chips.
Down to 6 chips, our relentless fighter went all in with AJ. His delightful wife called with 3s, which held up, knocking Lee out (4th).
Keen to capitalise on the antipathy against him, Barry raised a pile of each with Qs. Our very own Wonder Woman displayed her assured poker style, re-raising all in, with AJ. Barry called and to universal disappointment, his hand held up.
The wise and ever resourceful Sharon went all in with J9. JJ foolishly called with the deceitful AK. Sadly for Sharon, AK won a hand the first time that evening, knocking her out (3rd). Third place doesn't do justice to her performance, a classic demonstration of the guts and glory, that have become her trademark. Perhaps we should propose paying third place in an 8 player game, when Sharon comes third?
The first Borehamwood Heads Up in as long as anyone cared to remember started at 23:29. JJ looked like he might save the table from an Isaacson landslide, going all in with Q7, well ahead of Barry's Q6. The board rescued Barry, splitting the pot to loud protests from all.
The narrow escape was the spur he needed and despite a tremendous fight from JJ, Baz was not to be beaten. JJ tried his luck with deuces, but Barry did a Lee and pulled out pocket Ks, to double up and take the lead.
A split pot then came to JJ's rescue, his A6 totally dominated by Bruiser Baz's A10, but it was only delaying the inevitable.
In the final hand, JJ went all in with 8J, which Barry called with 9s. J's hit a J, to give us all hope, but Barry hit a sneaky flush, to take victory at 23:45.
Well played Baz - your 2nd win in 2 weeks has cemented your grip on the top spot and set a very high bar for the chasing players.
Stupid fucking memo.


Game 2 – 7 players - (1st Lee, 2nd JJ, 3rd Mark)

Second game kicked off at 23:52 with Dan proposing the question: "Is there any point in Dan playing a 2nd game?" Opinion was divided between those who thought there was no point in Dan playing a second game & those who thought there was no point in Dan playing either game.
Determined to go out first in both games & prove his own poker worthlessness, IJ told Lee he intended to give him loads of chips. When his AJ hit top pair he duly did give Lee a healthy stack, because Lee's AQ had hit 2 pair.
Last week's chat about how gay Barry's iphone continued during the second game. With its vanity mirror function & girly ring tune, many players were of the view that it is indeed the gayest item ever purchased.
Lee's ipod added to the homosexual tone of the evening, belting out gay hit after gay hit. Lee seemed to take perverse pleasure in pointing them out to us. He even suggested that he could just imagine two blokes rogering each other to one track. None of the other players had such a fertile imagination though...
IJ got royally fucked by Lew, who hit a flush on the river, beating IJ's straight.
IJ then completed his 2nd early exit of the night, re-raising all in (£2.25) with 10s, after JJ raised £6 with Qs and Lew called. JJ's Qs held up knocking IJ out (7th).
"It's been a good night" he said.
"Don't lie" Lee replied.

Thanks to alternative blogger Dan for this update:

In a slightly controversial hand the blinds had been put in incorrectly and there was some argument about whether the hand could continue or we should re-start it.
I had raised two piles of big. JJ thought he had folded having not cost any money and Barry folded what he thought was small blind and Lewis was about to fold what he thought was his big blind.
Actually it was JJ who was small and Barry who was big and Lewis who was first to act.

Confused? Well most people (except me) were so I agreed to lay down my AK and re-deal. In hindsight folding my AK was probably a good thing given the luck it has had this week. I re-dealt and looked down at AJ. I repeated the two piles of red raise and this time Barry went all in (a small re-raise). I called and he showed A6. The other two aces came on the flop/turn but no 6 to spare Barry. Barry out 6^th.

My end came almost immediately. I was big blind and held 10 5. Board came 10 8 2 with two clubs on board. I raised £8 and Lee called. Turn was 10 of clubs. I reacted far too quickly to even notice the flush possibility and went all in with trips. Lee called having hit the flush with a gut shot straight flush draw for good measure. I needed the board to pair for a full house. It didn’t. Dan out 5^th.

Before I could even leave Lew was out when his middle pair on the board ran in to Mark’s pocket rockets. Lew out 4^th

No one else provided any info, but Dan found out:

Mark was 3rd

JJ 2^nd

Lee 1^st won it with trips when both fairly even

So well done Lee, on your first win in a while. Your 5 points stops Barry from running away with the title, but there's a lot more to be done...


2008 Poker Rankings Table:

So Barry's 2nd victory in 2 weeks ensures he continues to dominate the table. Only Lee's 2nd game win keeps Baz to an impressive 14 point lead. With less than 10 weeks left of the season, Lee, Dan & JJ have some serious work to do to prevent Barry from getting his grubby hands on the title, that he has wanted for 3 years now.














Conversation topics of the week:

Match Attack has made an unwelcome return to our poker game. The new footie season is well under way and the boys have started collecting cards, on behalf of their sons. Wary of what is to come over the next few months, Shaz bans all conversation about Match Attack & any bringing of the evil cards to poker. "Save it for your children" she advised.
There was some debate as to whether the South African smarties that Sharon bought in Yarden could really be kosher. Dan was not convinced.


That's all for this week folks.
ij

15 October 2008 (The Jaysons') "Mark returns and takes no late night prisoners"

Game 1 – 8 players - (1st Barry, 2nd Lee, 3rd IJ)

Post yom tov play got going at 20:45 without the England-Belarus game on in the room. This seemed to disappoint the ladies more than you'd expect, as revealed in early discussion about whether David Beckham still has a role in an England shirt.
Sharon informed us that "As long as he keeps changing his shirt at the end of the game, he has a role." Jude agreed despite the boys' protestations that they shouldn't be treating a man like an object.
Invigorated by Beckham fantasies, the girls went up against each other, both with full houses. Sharon's turned out to be a better one, but somehow they both managed to avoid putting all their chips into the pot. "Amateur night" was one player's unkind observation but in truth they were probably just distracted by the thought of David getting the baby oil out...
In a later hand, Sharon raised £2.50, which Dan re-raised £3.50, only to be re-raised by Charlie all in (another £8.50). Sharon folded, but Dan called and flipped over AQ. Charlie wasn't fussed: he was holding Aces which held up to double him up.
Sharon would have won had she called which led to speculation as to whether that was Charlie's best ever move in poker? Had he not gone all in, Sharon would have probably called and eventually won. But what if she had put some more chips in and then folded at the flop? Could he have got some more chips out of her?
Thankfully, Jude rescued us from this pointless hindsight poker by getting real poker re-started, going all in after a £3 pre-flop raise from Charlie. In a pattern that was to be repeated with comforting regularity, Charlie folded. Lee called and his 10s held up against Jude's 7s, to knock Jude out (8th). (Quick return to hindsight poker: Charlie would have won the pot if he'd have backed up his raise by calling.)
With 2 3 5 8 on the board, Baz went all in after Sharon re-raised his bet. Shaz thought about it for a long time. Her instincts told her to fold. She had hit trip 3s and it would have been the greatest lay down of her life, but it was not to be. Egged on by the boys, who pointed out how many outs she had, she called and ran into Baz's diamond flush. He doubled up, bringing groans from all the players with an eye on the leader board. Sharon was decimated and fuming.
She re-raised Lee all in on the next hand or so and he called. Lee had AJ which held up against Sharon's QJ. There was to be no getting lucky at her husband's expense this week for Sharon, who went out (7th).
Minus the girls, the boys got on with the serious job of preventing Barry getting any more points. Dan was not proving to be too much of a threat this week: he had thrown away most of his chips early on but still refused to die. He called Mark's all in with J7. Mark's A10 got unlucky, doubling Dan up to Barry's dismay. Our other title contender Lee conceded that he didn't mind Dan surviving or even doubling up again, as long as it was at Barry's expense...
Dan & Mark went at it again, this time Dan with A9 & Dan with K5. Mark got the better of Dan this time, hitting 2 pairs on the flop and doubling up. Dan, virtually wiped out, was still not out saying "I did the right thing, but what the heck? It was evens at the start.."
Without even the blind to call his own, Dan went all in with J9 against IJ's AK. Would you believe it? He hit 2 pair to triple up, although somehow IJ still managed to win some chips.
Clearly intimidated by Dan's lingering presence, Baz raised Mark 2 piles of red with AK. Mark went all in with his K7, which was not enough to beat the Baz. Mark was out (6th). To the great irritation of himself and all the other players, Mark had committed the cardinal sin of giving Barry more chips. He obviously didn't get the memo.
Meanwhile, Dan was still in. He was becoming the new Lee, clinging on to dear life until he got the hand he needed to make his move. Dan said he couldn't be the new Lee as he had not yet got Ks...
....Freakishly, Dan was then dealt pocket Ks and went all in against Lee, who had A9. Dan's Ks won and he doubled up.
IJ did his bit for the table, making a dent in Barry's monster chip stack, with 9s against Baz's 5s.
Charlie then had a good chance at continuing to damage our table leader, calling Baz's all in with AQ. But Barry's 8s held up, giving him even more chips and knocking Charlie out (5th).
Barry increased his pile yet again, finally calling time on Dan. In a JJ like piece of luck, Barry's 2 3 hit a 3 to overcome Dan's A4 and knock him out (4th), leaving the strategy of denying Baz chips in tatters. After demonstrating survival skills worthy of Andy McNab, Dan finally bowed out, passing the baton of responsibility for restraining the Isaacson over to IJ & Lee.
IJ displayed early promise, demonstrating that Baz was mortal. His Qs helped him double up against Baz's 8s, but it was to be shortlived. Lee ensured the burden of stopping Barry in his table topping tracks was to be solely his, knocking IJ out when his KQ hit a Q to beat IJ's A10.
With IJ out (3rd), a tense heads up between 1st and 2nd place in the table started at 23:25. The stakes could not have been higher: a victory for Lee would cut Baz's lead to a mere 5 points. A win for Barry would extend it to a healthy 13.
It is fair to say that while the chip stacks were even, the crowd support was not. Everyone present, minus Barry but even including Eric Clapton on the radio, was routing for Lee.
Barry proved that you don't get to be table leader since May for nothing. He had maintained his lead for almost 6 months & he was not going to let it slip away with less than 3 months to go.
After 20 minutes of drama, Lee went all in with Q9, which Baz called with A10. He hit an Ace and claimed victory at 23:43.
Well played Barry - the group hostility against you may be making you stronger as you claim, but it is too enjoyable to try something different quite yet....


Game 2 – 6 players - (1st Mark, 2nd IJ, 3rd Baz)

Without the pressure of restraining an unstoppable Barry, a more relaxed second game started at 22:52.
In the first significant hand, Dan raised a whopping £10 after 3 10 Q flop. Mark smelled a rat and called. An ace on the turn saw them both check, with the betting resuming after an insignificant 4 came on the river. Mark bet £8 and Dan, after some protracting deliberating and chip counting, called. He turned over pocket Js, saying he knew he was behind but just had to see what Mark had. Sure enough, Mark's QK, gave him top pair and a monster pot. He had correctly read the big bollocks bets from Dan as a lame attempt to get him off the pot. Dan, massively weakened, didn't deny it.
In another massive pot, J 10 8 8 Q lay on the table after some healthy raises and re-raises. In stark contrast to the girls' full house hand in the first game, Baz and Mark ended up with most of their chips in the pot. Both of them had straights, but Baz's AK gave him a high straight and the chips, while Mark's A9 gave him the low straight and a headache. Baz was roundly condemned from the other players as a total cunt, with the notable exception of a lonely Charlie who commented 'Well played.' Such naivety was put down to the resemblance between Barry's foolhardy calling with nothing and Charlie's traditional style of play.
Re-introducing his unique tactic of the £1 pre-flop raises, Charlie kicked off a massive hand between Mark, with an awesome straight flush & IJ, with a nut flush. IJ was lucky to finish that hand with any chips at all, but Mark's elaborate performance before raising was a clear signal that he had the hand of love, although IJ assumed it was a mere full house.
Back in the action, Mark called Dan's all in. Dan went in ahead with big slick, but Marky's AQ hit a Q to knock Dan out (6th).
Charlie saw some action, doubling up with Js against Mark's 9K, but then bottling out of calling IJ's £8.25 re-raise a few hands later, despite having raised a fiver.
The game was peppered with sexual innuendos, delivered by our very own Mr Garrison, Bazza Isaacson, who saw penises every time someone put in a pile of black chips.
At 00:50, our host Dean arrived, having spent the last hour on his own in his new, unfinished house. With only a month to go before the Jaysons move in, Dean told us at times he had believed it might never happen.
Lee raised an intimidating £10 pre-flop, only to be re-raised a further tenner by bulldozer Preston. After Lee's inevitable all in, Mark turned over Aces, intimidating Lee's AK right back. The Aces held up, knocking out Lee (5th) confirming that the luck and the chips were only ever going one way. Barry told us he would be quite happy to get 2nd, now that Lee was
out, but no one was listening.
Charlie's last stand was an all in with J4, which IJ called blind with A3. The better hand held up and Charlie exited (4th).
In another hand that delighted Barry, IJ and Mark went all in. IJ's AJ held up against Mark's A10, inflicting a near fatal wound on Mark, who was down to 2 piles of chips. Barry revealed that he didn't actually want to win, as it would invoke the Borehamwood Burger rule...
Mark evened the chip stacks up again, going all in with Q8. IJ merrily called with AK, but Mark's luck was rock solid, bringing him a Q to take the chips.
Barry then gave him a load more, folding Mark's re-raise with 2 6 J K on the board, leaving him with dregs.
He went home after calling IJ's all in. Mark called with AJ, but IJ's Qs held up to knok Barry out (3rd) and take the pot.
Going into heads up at 01:58, that hand had given IJ a massive chip lead, while Mark, having not played for weeks and not won for more, determined not to lose. He doubled up in the first hand, after his QK hit a K on the river to beat IJ's A2.
Mark went on to reverse the chip deficit but IJ came back again.
That was how it remained until 2 hands confirmed that no one was going to deny Mark the points, with a lot of raising and folding in between.
IJ learnt the hard way that AK is not called Big Slick for nothing, getting them twice, to cost him both hands and the game.
In the first, Mark called IJ's all in with K6. Domninated by IJ's AK, Marky hit 2 pairs to take the chip lead.
At 02:20, IJ took the fatal decision to slow play his 2nd Big Slick, in a short-sighted attempt to trap Mark, who had been consitantly folding his raises. Mark saw a free flop with a meagre 4 7, which turned into a mighty straight on the river. His expert slow playing, despite the lateness of the hour, convinced IJ who went all in with top pair, taking his 2nd second in as many weeks.
Well played Marky, a sprited win earning you 5 points, a whole 3 more than Spurs have acquired all season....



2008 Poker Rankings Table:

So his impressive first game victory cements Barry's grip on the top of the table. He strides into 3 figures with a monster 105 points, giving him a decisive 13 point lead over 2nd place Lee and at least a week of safety. Well done Barry, it is far from over but at least for one week you can sit back and enjoy the abuse.
Extending his lead over Dan to 3 points will be no consolation for Lee, who has a lot more work to do to take a second title.
IJ's point changes little, but Mark's late night win narrows the gap between him and Sharon to a surmountable 6 points.






Conversation topics of the week:

Early discussion centred on the question of should you cherish your children's dirty nappies?
Inspired by the Youngs' yom tov lunch, conversation moved on to whether crunchy peanut butter crumble violated the golden rules of good crumble?
If you think that was pointless, things got worse, when Barry insisted on contemplating whether Charlie could mathematically win the title, assuming he played all the remaining games?
I'm not sure that Charlie is the player that Barry needs to worry about, but then on the evidence of recent weeks it's not terribly clear that any of the actual contenders are going to cause him much stress either.


Jokes & news of the week:

Tottenham finally win a game:


that's all for this week & apologies for the spelling, can't get the spellcheck to work for some reason....
ij

7 October 2008 (The Poker Suite) "Baz holds on but JJ & Shaz take the points..."

Game 1 – 10 players - (1st Sharon, 2nd Baz, 3rd Dan)

Bea got all excited by Charlie's playful antics, as the first game kicked off at 20:47. Dave warned that Bea may look like she was enjoying the game but Charlie may not appreciate it should she bite him. Charlie desisted, since his attempt to arm Bea and then fire her at JJ was not having the desired effect.
Julian vanquished some of his early exit ghosts, winning a huge early pot from Scott. With 4 9 9 Q on the table, Jules re-raised Scott all in. Despite several earlier aggressive raises, Scott laid it down which was proved a wise move as Jules revealed he was holding A9.
Jules' early good fortune continued, getting paid with Aces by Dave's Js.
Jules then ensured he was not out first this week, calling Scott's all in, with J87 on the flop. Scott was holding A6, but needed to get lucky against Jules' lucky 9s, which held up.
Scott exited (10th) sparking a debate about what he should do next. He was considering going home and getting his laptop and then returning to do some work, while waiting for the 2nd game. Other suggestions included making Sharon's chicken for yom tov and hanging around to amuse the remaining players. Baz summed it up: "Enjoy the banter and stick around so we can take the piss out of you." Rather surprisingly, Scott declined this kind invitation and went to play Golf on the Wii instead.
One of only 2 challengers that could threaten Baz's domination of the table, Lee was down on his luck, with only a small chip stack to play with. Scott ruefully observed that he'd write off any other player in Lee's position, but Lee is far from dead. Lee confirmed what we had all long suspected "I got myself into this strategic position and now I'm ready to play."
But it wasn't to be for Lee: 7 10 2 on the flop brought a £6 all in from him, with 10 6, top pair. Sharon called with AJ and hit an Ace, to kick a thoroughly pissed off Lee out (9th). As he left, Lee declared that he was fed up with being knocked out by Shaz getting lucky and hitting cards. Dave helpfully informed us that he had a hand before the flop and still had one afterwards, but it couldn't beat certain hands. Not sure why this was relevant but he had 6s.
Dave then showed he was not all talk, going all in with J7, with QJ9 on the flop. JJ called with top pair, QK, but a lucky 3 of clubs on the turn gave Dave a flush, doubling him up.
Charlie was on aggressive form, raising £2 pre-flop, which JJ & Baz called. The flop was 2 6 J and Baz took the pot with a pathetic 3s, depleting JJ and leaving us wondering what on earth Charlie was doing?
JJ's game came to an end when he went all in with 10s, a raise of £6. Jules called with A9, hitting trip 9s. Nines were golden for Jules again, kicking J out (8th).
Charlie followed soon after, going all in with A7, which Dave called with JK, which hit 2 pair. Charlie left (7th) to join the Wii golf experience, passionately exclaiming "How slightly irritating."
Dan, who was moonlighting from Accenture as Debbie McGee, our gorgeous dealing assistant, hit a straight on the flop and tactically slow played it, allowing Baz to hit a diamond flush on the river and get paid nicely. The tactical error was to come back to haunt Dan a few times that evening but as he said "Poorly played, but them's are the chances you take."
IJ went all in blind (although this was not straddling, Dave helpfully informed us) with K7. Dan called with A7, which held up, kicking IJ out (6th).
In the very next hand, Dan went all in with A9, which Dave called blind (see earlier straddling point) with 6 4. Dan hit an Ace to knock Dave out (5th).
At this point, Sharon, Julian and Dan all went to the toilet together, leaving Barry to contemplate how he could beat Dan. While a win would be great, coming ahead of Dan was vital to maintaining his lead....
K 5 A 3 on the board, Jules went all in with A9. He looked in good shape when Sharon called with K6, but she hit a club flush on the river to deny Jules any points. Julian out (4th).
Sharon then helped Barry breath easier, dismissing Dan after her pockets 4s tripped up, beating his A8 all in. Dan's exit (3rd) gave Barry a chance to extend his lead as heads up started at 23:25.
However, with Sharon a two to one chip leader, Barry had a mountain to climb. 3 hands later, it was clear that he had left his climbing boots in Borehamwood. In the final hand he went all in with A4, which Sharon hurriedly called with AK. Her hand held up to take victory at 23:27, restricting table leader Baz to only 2 precious extra points.
Well done Sharon!


Game 2 – 8 players - (1st JJ, 2nd IJ, 3rd Baz)

The second game kicked off at 23:45 & IJ won big, while he was making the tea. Someone showed him his hand (AQ) and then called out the flop to him, K 10 J. With a straight on the flop he won a big hand off Charlie (pair of Kings) before he even sat down at the table.
Jules returned to earlier form, calling Dan's all in with Qs, despite 10 A 3 7 on the board. Dan had hit 2 pair (A10) and Julian was first to go home (8th).
IJ continued his earlier success against Charlie, who went all in with Qs, with 3 7 A on the flop. IJ called with A6 and sent Charlie home (7th).
Scott followed soon after, re-raising Dan all in with AJ. Dan called with deuces, which held up. Scott out (6th).
Lee was decimated by 2 hands. He called Barry's all in with A6, the best hand he'd seen in a while but Baz's A8 held up. JJ finished him off after his 3 4 hit 2 pair (only JJ!) beating Lee's Q9. With Lee out (5th), Barry only had to worry about Dan...
...but not for too long as shortly after Dan went all in with A6, which JJ called with K8. JJ hit an 8 and knocked Dan out (4th).
With both his rivals out, Barry had a fantastic opportunity to further extend his lead at the top of the table.
He went all in with AQ, which J called with 6s. Baz hit a Q on the river to double up, creating outrage in J who claimed this has has happened to him 3 weeks in a row now: he does really well at the start of the game and then ends up 3rd.
3 8 K A on the board, a still steaming JJ went all in, having hit a sweet 2 pair (A 3). Baz called with top pair (Ks) but JJ went on to hit the nut flush and double up nicely. Suddenly, it looked like this week might break JJ's curse...
Baz then helpfully went out 3rd. His all in with K9, ran into IJ's Aces.
At 01:53, IJ went into heads up with about a 2:1 chip lead over JJ, who should have been swiftly defeated. However, some tough hands and some sneaky slow playing from the Jackson overwhelmed IJ. In the 2 hands that swung it, JJ doubled up with Ks against IJ's 9s, and then claimed victory at 02:07 with Qs against A5.
Well done JJ - no third place for you this week...


2008 Poker Rankings Table:


So Barry's 2nd is enough to keep him at the top, 1 point away from the hundred. Lee is now 9 points away, but still within one week of replacing Baz.
Dan remains in third place, continuing his perpetual flirting with Lee, while JJ's 2nd game win takes him 8 points from Dan.
IJ extends his lead on Dave to 9 points, but he is now a massive 19 points away from JJ.
Another successful week for Sharon sees her move within 12 points of Dave, a move that would bridge the gap between the top and bottom halves of the table.








Conversation topics of the week:

The lowered tone of the 2nd game arrived early this week, as conversation about Barry's mother led to Dave informing us all about a girl on Jerry Springer who had all her teeth removed so that she could give her man a better blow job. Now that is dedication.

Sharon started to read Lee's text messages from his phone that he had carelessly left on the poker suite after he went out. She reassured us all that it was only from Paul and that she wouldn't read any messages from his mistress. The question was then asked as to how she knew Paul was not Lee's mistress. While she couldn't be sure, Sharon pointed out that if Lee was going to have an affair it would not chose Paul. Sharon would be fucking insulted if he did.

Dave suggested that if either Young were to have an affair, it was much more likely to be Sharon. Before she could deny the accusation, Sharon split all her chips all over the table and turned red in the clearest tell we've seen around the poker table for a long time.

Finally, there was an attempt to identify the following poker players:

Most aggressive - Sharon

Easiest player to read - Barry (when he protested and asked how come he was top of the table if he was so easy to read, he was informed that he outdrew everyone more)

Luckiest player - Baz

Most obvious tell - JJ (he used to have a vein in the side of his head that throbbed when he had a big hand, but he had it surgically removed because it was costing him too much.)

Jokes & news of the week:

Thanks to Barry for this transcript of a great example of media management:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2008/oct/03/newcastleunited.premierleague

and on that note, this video is very funny:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7vRWOZpkdE

thanks to JJ for these Monkeys working in a Japanese restaurant.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/7654267.stm

that's all for this week,
ij

1 October 2008 (The Jaysons') "IJ & Lew have the sweetest new year..."

Game 1 – 8 players - (1st IJ, 2nd Lee, 3rd JJ)

Our first poker game of the Jewish New Year started briskly at 20:43, with all our players hopeful that Rosh Hashanah had brought them sweet luck for the year.
Sharon must have thought her time in shul paid off when she was dealt pocket aces in an early hand. She gave it away to Baz when she looked at Dan with a big smile on her face. Showing commendable trust in his instincts, Barry called anyway and lost with top pair, jacks, giving Sharon a fiver of his chips.
The Poker Gods gave Sharon further New Year gifts: With AA338 on the board, Lewis put in a spectacular £2 raise, revealing the absence of an Ace (turned out he had a K). IJ called, figuring his K was good against Lew's K. Jude called, thinking her pocket 6s were in with a chance. But it was Shaz who collected he chips, winning the pot with an 8.
Barry went all in with an intimidating £3.25 raise. Everyone else folded, happy for him to take the £1.50 pot.
Barry then returned to his former favourite past time: hindsight poker. He would have won an awesome pot when the 10 8 he laid down would have become 4 of a kind, which would have seen him get paid handsomely by Jude's actual full house.
Conscious of his lead at the top of the table, Baz was biding his time with fuck all until Dan and Lee went out. Meanwhile, Jude had become a monster, her strong arming of Sharon, re-raising her re-raise, leading to Shaz regretfully folding. It was a hand that stuck with her for a while, evidenced by how many times she told us that she had put it behind her and was moving on.
Everyone relaxed a little when Dan finally knocked table leader Barry out (8th). Now we knew he could not extend his lead and, more importantly, was also very likely to leave the room and go upstairs.
Still reeling from her earlier lay down, the usually aggressive Sharon cost herself another huge pile of chips, after she let Dan turn Q2 into a lucky straight. Two big laydowns from Sharon in one night? What was going on??
In a following hand, she accused Dan of bullying after he made a £3 bet. He denied the charge, reassuring us all "I don't do things like that until I'm short handed."
Sharon's night was put to an end by JJ, who raised £6 pre-flop. Sharon re-raised all in with K10. JJ called with pocket 5s which turned into trips, to double up and knock Shaz out (7th).
Barry popped his head into the room to discover how his rivals were getting on. Raising the stakes, he placed a bounty on Dan's head, offering a cup of tea to the player that knocked him out. Given his much larger chip stack, knocking Lee out would have earned the victor 2 cups of tea, and for the player who managed to knock them both out in one phenomenal hand, cups of tea on demand all night.
Lewis went all in with A10, earning a call from JJ, who had AJ. They held up and Lew was knocked out (6th).
Dan doubled Jude up, after he called her all in, with Qs against her 10s. Jude got lucky and tripped up, decimating Dan and delighting Barry.
Dan went all in on the next hand, a 25p rise. JJ called, and to the irritation of both Borehamwood Boys, Dan hit a club flush and doubled up.
Dan repeated the move, this time going all in with Q10 and a lot more chips. Lee called with Q9, hitting a 9 on the first card, to double up and destroy Dan. Again he was down, but still not out. Baz couldn't sit comfortably yet, but nor was he making any tea.
Lee finally dealt the death blow to Dan, when they went all in again, AQ v KQ, this time Lee holding the better hand. It held up knocking Dan out (5th) who left us with the scintillating analysis that "I was up. I was down. If you live by the sword, you die by it. You can't keep going all in and expect to win it every time...." You get the gist?
Lee was now in with a chance to go second in the table, but only if he won the game.
Jude went all in with A7, which JJ called with K7. Jude's hand held, to double her up, only to go out (4th) to IJ, who called her next all in. His Qs held up against her J10.
IJ continued his late resurgence, knocking JJ out with some awesome cards. Holding A2, the flop gave him the nut flush. He got very excited when JJ raised 2 piles of red. IJ thought for a bit and then called. JJ went all in after the turn, which IJ immediately called, to knock J out (3rd) and start heads up at 23:30.
In the second hand, Lee went all in with a 7 5 straight draw. IJ's 7 8 had hit 2 pair on the flop and he won, securing a rare first game victory at 23:34 and a cup of tea from Barry (yet to be delivered). Well done IJ!

Game 2 – 6 players - (1st Lewis, 2nd Lee, 3rd Dan)

The second game started at 23:40 with the sound of the Beatles ringing in our ears. Absolute Radio seemed to have abdicated all responsibility for choosing tracks and were instead merely playing all their old Beatles albums.
In an early hand, Lewis failed to raise the pot enough to deter Barry, who ended up hitting a nut flush on the river.
Barry was in action again when, with 347 on the flop, he re-raised Lee £8. Lee called and the turn brought a K. Baz raised a further £8 which led to Lee's inevitable all in. Revealing that he was all mouth and no trousers, Baz laid it down, saying he had to give Lee respect. IJ guessed correctly that Baz had 2 pair, but did the K give Lee trips? Baz did his usual post fold fuming about how he can't believe he laid it down etc, etc.
Lee got entangled in another mighty hand. This time AKJ was on the flop and Lee raised £5 which Lew called. A 6 on the turn produced a £10 raise from Lee, also called by Lew. A jack on the river saw Lew's A10 take the pot, ahead of Lee's pocket 8s.
In need of some further action, Baz raised a fiver, which failed to scare anyone, getting a call from Lee, IJ & Dan. His KQ made a pair which was ahead, but both IJ and Lee hit a straight, to relieve him of many chips. Baz was still fuming as he handed his chips over....
Not content with having depleted most of his stack, Barry called JJ's pre-flop raise. With a mighty 6 7 10 on the flop, JJ went all in and Barry called. JJ's Aces were just about good enough to beat Baz's K10 and he was knocked out 6th. Despite his position at the top of the table secure, he was not happy and wished us all a 4 o'clock finish.
The next portion of the game was all about a tussle between JJ & Dan.
First Dan went all in with 9s, which JJ called with his usual 7 5. 9s held up and Dan doubled up.
Then JJ went all in with J10, which Dan called with AQ, which also held up to double up again and further deplete JJ.
Total blind luck then gave JJ a lifeline, as he went all in blind against IJ, and flipped over Ks, to beat IJ's 5s.
Then it was back to the Dan & JJ show, with JJ going all in with 3 4 and Dan calling with KQ. Never one to regret going all in with a shite hand, JJ hit a straight on the flop. As everyone swore loudly at him he told Dan "You were only slightly ahead." Dan was unconvinced.
Dan then went all in with A7 against Lew's KQ and hit a flush to double up and restore his chip stack a little.
IJ made a compulsory all in move with 10 2, which stood no chance against Lew's 10s. IJ out (5th).
In the next hand Dan went all in with Ks, which his nemesis for the night JJ could not resist calling with Q10. JJ hit a flush and began to celebrate, but unfortunately for him, Dan had hit a full house. It couldn't have happened to a flukier guy. Well as Dan said, "There's only so many bad beats I can take in a night."
It had felt like Dan & J were at it all night and with JJ clinging on for life, the end of the duel when it came was mercifully brief. Dan went all in with AJ, which JJ called with J2. Dan hit an Ace on the river to finally knock JJ out (4th).

Dan continues from here:

I finished 3^rd (don’t remember the hand but I do remember it was another bad beat)
Lee and Lewis were heads up. After a few forgettable hands Lew drew Lee into an all in bet holding AA which held up. Lewis won!

So well done Lewis on your first result all year!

2008 Poker Rankings Table:

So with no extra points earned this week, Barry is still in pole position, but with 2 second places Lee is now only 7 points away from him. A win from Lee in a 10 person game, with Barry failing to place and we'll have a new table leader...

Dan slips into third, in an continuation of his perpetual flirting with Lee over who is the real no 2 to Barry.

Elsewhere, IJ's win takes him to 60 points, a slight distance away from absentee Dave.

At the bottom, Lewis' win takes him ahead of some of the occasional players and charity cases, but crucially behind the Vic armpit benchmark.

Conversation topics of the week:

Nothing to report really this week, other than a very exciting conversation overheard between Jude & Shaz about buying curtain materials.... I'll spare you the rest...