9 April 2008 (The Poker Suite) "JJ's luck returns, care of the River..."

Game 1 – 10 players - (1st JJ, 2nd Baz, 3rd Dave)

Play started at 20:36 without the Borehamwood boys, who were delayed by going for what they call a 'burger'. Barry certainly seemed to have enjoyed it, as he arrived smiling, wearing his Liverpool FC top (I assume they didn't swap shirts after their burger?). He re-assured us that his grin was due to the continued pleasure derived from Arsenal's Champions League exit at the hands of Liverpool on Wednesday night. We all chuckled at JJ/Arsenal's expense and then got on with playing.
In a monster early hand with JJ, Dan re-raised JJ's £3, only to be re-raised £6 back. Dan thought for a long while and eventually laid it down, leaving us in ignorance of JJ's hand. Charlie helpfully pointed out that "They could both have pocket Qs". This seemed unlikely, given that there was a Q on the board.
Charlie then applied the same Wenger like insight to his poker play, calling JJ's £7.50 raise, only to see his top pair of Queen with an Ace kicker crushed by JJ's 2 pair. Charlie exited shortly after, going all in with deuces. Baz & Sharon called, with Sharon folding when Barry raised after the flop. Sharon cursed when the cards were flipped, revealing Baz's pocket 7s, as she had pocket Js. Baz hit an extra 7, providing relief to Sharon and an early trip to the lounge for Charlie (10th).
IJ was out next, going all in with 8s, only to run into Baz's Js. Barry hit his first full house of the evening, and IJ went out (9th).
Sharon followed, going all in with AQ, only to be called by Barry, with his pocket 7s again. He hit another full house, on the flop this time, and knocked Shaz out (8th).
By now both Borehamwood Boys, energized by their Burger fest had large stacks of chips and the remaining players needed to pick up a gear. Dan went all in with AA, and was delighted to get called by Lee, AK, and Jude with A10. A king arrived on the flop but no further help for the others meant Dan tripled up.
Lee then fell victim to JJ, who had his own pocket rockets. Lee out (7th).
Mark, who's only contribution to the evening up until this point was to restrict his flatulence to smoking breaks, went all in with J9, called by Dave who had AJ and hit an Ace. Mark out (6th).
Dan tripled up again at the non-Borehamwood players expense: he went all in with AK, up against Jude with A3 and Dave with 9s. A king on the river rewarded Jude, but more so for Dan, who had the better kicker.
Dave then knocked Jude out (5th) after he called her Q3 all in with AQ, with nothing hitting.
In a crucial move for JJ, he knocked Dan out, (4th) to reach the last 3. This guaranteed him at least a point from the game, moving him ahead of his protector Vic in the table, for the first time this year. The remaining players considered getting Vic round for the 2nd game, to put JJ back in his place...
Dave went out (3rd) after he went all in with 910 hearts. Baz called with pocket 5s, and hit his 3rd full house of the night, setting up a Borehamwood version of the Arsenal - Liverpool clash.
Heads up began at 22:19, the earliest all year, with reputations at stake for both players. For JJ, the chance to finally kick start his year and escape from Vic's handlebasket. For Baz, the need to maintain his 100% heads up record and extend his lead at the top of the table.
It was 'end to end' poker (???) for a full 20 mins. A pattern kicked in early: Baz aggressively raised virtually every hand, pummelling a disorientated JJ into submission. JJ, who seemed to have forgotten how to play heads up, having not done it for so long, appeared to resign himself to a beating, going all in with 52. Baz called with QK, and seemed on course for his 9th win of the year, hitting a King on the flop, only to have victory cruelly snatched from him by the river which gave JJ trip 5s.
Baz kept his rhythm and returned swiftly to his bullying, even more determined to destroy the Gooner. He got a call to his all in, with his AK well ahead of JJ's K2. Once again the flop delivered a King and once again, JJ escaped, hitting a 2 on the river, gifting him 2 pair.
The whole process, Barry bullying followed by JJ making a bizarre call was repeated for a third time, causing the rest of us to question whether we were stuck in one of those Star Trek episodes where things keep repeating themselves. This time JJ called with 49 and Baz wasn't so confident with his A3. Sure enough, JJ hit a 4 on the river to hang on by his fingernails.
The tide turned and JJ overtook Baz, calling his all in A8 with AQ. He didn't need any help from the river this time, but it gave him a Q anyway.
Barry, decimated, held on for 2 further hands, until at 22:38, in the final hand, his K3 was beaten by JJ's AJ, which hit an Ace.
Well done JJ and thanks - no one would deny the large amount of luck that guided you to your 2nd win of the year, and shattered Baz's 100% heads up record, but it was hugely entertaining to watch.


Game 2 – 9 players - (1st Lee, 2nd JJ, 3rd Mark)

The earliest 2nd game start of 2008 at 10:50, produced a much better turn out than the shambles of last week. This week, the addition of Paul gave us 9 players, and a new quiz: predict what time he will go out.
Dan was our first casualty of the evening, going all in with Jacks only to be out rivered by JJ, whose AK hit a King. Dan out (9th).
Lee knocked Charlie out (8th) and IJ out (7th) in one hand, when he hit a straight with AQ, destroying IJ's trip 6s and Charlie's sod all, which turned into a useless pair of 7s.
Baz departed next when his pocket 4s ran into Dave's A10, which hit an Ace. Baz out (6th). Paul was out next, barely 4 hands after he arrived, going all in with K3, only to be called by JJ who had AJ and then hit a J. Paul out (5th) at 0:10, which was nearest to Dave's prediction of 12.20.
Dave was out (4th) when he kept calling JJ's raises with his 89, only for JJ to reveal trip 5s.
It looked a lot like JJ's luck had returned in a big way, when he knocked Mark out (3rd), calling his all in Q2 with 56, and hitting a 6.
JJ entered his 2nd heads up of the night (and only 4th of the year!) at 0:22, about even stacks against Lee.
Wiley Lee, was not going to allow another Borehamwood double, and took 6 minutes to destroy the River Rat. In the crucial heads up hand, Lee hit a flush on the flop and calmly checked it, until JJ caught a straight on the turn. He then raised it and JJ took the bait, and pushed in a massive re-raise, which Lee re-raised all in. JJ called and then cried.
At 0:28, the final hand saw Lee re-raise with A9, and then call JJ's all in with KJ. In a fitting finale to a dramatic night of poker, the river dealt the final (& unnecessary) blow to JJ, giving Lee a 9 and victory.
Well done Lee and well done all, for a thoroughly entertaining night of poker action, all over by half 12.



2008 Poker Rankings Table:

No change for the top 3 spots, but Lee's 2nd game victory narrows the gap between him and Baz to just 5 points, with Dan stuck in third place, ten points adrift of Lee.
The big story of the night was all about JJ. After 14 weeks of languishing behind Vic, his first and second place have propelled him straight into 6th place, with 4th in one game's reach. He has more work to do to be seriously considered a contender for this year's title, but sources from among this year's big 3 warn not to count him out.
Unlike his beloved Arsenal, his season is far from over yet...



Conversation topics:

There was some debate about whether 'Manny' has entered the English language, as recognosed by the Websters Dictionary. Well, I'm afraid neither Websters Online nor the Oxford English has an entry for it. For those of you wondering what it means (and not present on Wednesday) according to Sharon, it is a common term to refer to a male nanny.

Lee was sporting a radical hair cut which he had done at a specialist hair salon 'the Ginger Group.' This led to concerned enquiries about whether there is something he is not telling us:
"Are you a ginger down below?" and "Do your collar and cuffs not match?"

Lots of chat about children's cartoons from when we were kids (and Barry was at Uni). Debate centred around what was the first line to follow 'Hong Kong Phooey' in the theme tune?
Turns out it was:
"Hong Kong Phooey, number one super guy."
http://www.culttelly.co.uk/lyrics/hkp.html
So Dan was closest with 'Number one superstar'- but no cigar.

Was Captain Caveman a cartoon bollock with a club?
You decide...

Finally, there were horrified faces around the table at the revelation that Dan had drunk his own piss, for a £10 bet with Mark, while on holiday in Ianapa. Dan maintained that he is proud of it and there is nothing wrong with drinking your own piss. Lee was convinced that it can't be good for you.
I'm not sure who's right, but it seems Dan is not alone: there is an altnerative medicine called 'Urine Therapy' and guess what it involves?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urine_therapy


Jokes/Sites of the week

Lee's proud of this one, which we shall dedicate to JJ:

Another beauty from Lee:
"Marks Pants found in outback!"

That's all for this week folks!
ij

1 April 2008 (The Poker Suite) "Sharon points the finger as second game decimated by illness"

Game 1 – 10 players - (1st Lee, 2nd IJ, 3rd Baz)

Liverpool & Arsenal's Champion League's tie on Wednesday, saw our poker game hastily rearranged for Tuesday night and a later target start time of 20:15. This inevitably meant our actual start time was delayed to 20:49. The game, beset by illness, was without JJ, who had gone in search of inspiration, seeing a show about a boy who practiced really hard and eventually achieved his dream and became a ballet star. Hope it helps J...
Dan was the evening's first casualty, but without the need for medical attention, re raising Baz with two jacks in his hand. Barry folded his deuces but IJ called with pocket kings which held up.
Dan out (10th).
Sharon, suffering from an infected finger, went all in after her AJ hit an ace. Dave called with a pair of Kings and a flush draw but was knocked out (9th), enabling Sharon to get her remaining functioning hand on his chips.
Lee observed "I'm a victim of my own respect" after he failed to attract any interest in his raise, his pocket rockets going to waste.
IJ collected a monster pile of chips and proved what a jammy bastard he is once again, hitting a seven card straight with Q10, knocking out Mark (8th) 63 and Dean (7th) AA.
Charlie bowed to extensive peer pressure and called Barry's re-raise, his KJ falling to Baz's big slick.
He was weakened, but Sharon extended a one handed lifeline, calling his all in with her own KJ. Charlie's 9J hit a straight on the river and doubled up.
IJ managed a rare feat of knocking out a husband and wife team, both with AA, when his pocket 10s tripped up. Jude's exited 6th, allowing her to escort her poorly husband home.
Charlie gave Sharon more time to concentrate on her unusual pesach preparation, dipping her infected finger in salt water, when his AQ held up against her 72. Shaz out (5th).
Charlie followed her after his Q8 couldn't beat IJ's 910 suited (no idea what it hit). Charlie out (4th).
In a massive hand that set him up for eventual victory, Lee patiently sat on his nut flush and made a gentle raise. Baz, who had hit trip 5s, took the bait and re-raised all in. Lee gleefully called and Barry was decimated, admitting he hadn't seen the flush.
He was then finished off by IJ, after KJ let him down, as it had everyone else before him. IJ's A2 held up and Baz out (3rd).
Heads up was relatively swift, with no major hands. Patient Lee used his large chip lead to wear IJ down until, at 23:26, his AJ held up against IJ's A7.
Well done Lee!

Game 2 – 4 players - (1st Baz, 2nd Lee, 3rd Dan)

After spending a considerable amount of time debating, agreeing and then recording the rule about players ducking out of the 2nd game, we proved that the only hard and fast rule in our game is that we only honoured our rules in the breach. A plague of illness and lack of commitment, saw one player after another clear off home during the first game, leaving only 4 hardened souls to battle it out.

First to go was Dave, who couldn't be bothered to wait to the 2nd game, Marky & Dean soon followed, citing ill health, and finally Charlie refused to renege on his 'one game only' commitment. At one point we feared the 2nd game maybe a total washout, with Dan threatening to go home as he reminded us that "I don't play 4 player games". Luckily for the rest of us he made an exception to his personal rules (which don't seem very strict, as he emailed later in the week saying that he played two 4 player games last year).

At 23:40, our remaining players, Lee, Baz, Dan & IJ, started.

Barry got very upset that Lee decided it would be OK to smoke in the poker suite, since there were so few of us there. Barry objected strenuously and was not placated by the offer that we would suspend the game if he wanted to wait outside until smoking was over.

IJ was first out when his KQ was beaten by Baz, who hit a pair of 2s. IJ out (4th).
-----------------------------------

Barry continues:

dan 3rd
- ran into my pocket 5's that turned into full house.
Me quite big chip leader.
Heads up finished quite quickly at 1.05am
- I went all in with AJ
- Lee called with KJ
- no help for Lee came
- me 1st, Lee 2nd.


2008 Poker Rankings Table:

Barry consolidates his position at the top of the table, where he is 9 points clear of Lee, who's first game win enables him to leapfrog Dan. Lee moves 4 points clear of Dan into second, pushing Dan into third, 13 points behind the top spot that was once his..
However, the top 3 are gradually breaking away from the rest of the table, with Dan himself 13 points clear of Dave in fourth place. With 14 out of 52 games played, Baz, Lee or Dan would seem strong contenders to be our eventual league champion...
IJ in fifth narrows the gap behind Dave to a single point and there is no change to the rest of the table.


Announcements of the week:

Congratulations to Lewis on making partner at Field Fisher Waterhouse - a fantastic achivement and we look forward to you being able to focus more of your considerable skills on the poker table from now on....

also, happy 1st Birthday to Ruby Isaacson!

Conversation topics:

Pretty thin this week. Best I've got is:

Barry: "I'm having my 2nd boxing lesson tomorrow."
Lee: "Why? Are you being bullied?"

Jokes of the week

Thanks to Barry for this bathroom floor:


would you walk into this bathroom ?
the flat is on the 10th floor of a high rise block.
the floor is painted, and you know its painted, but would you wanna walk in, just in case ????

and another one from Baz:

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. IF YOU'RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING WATERDOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF.

2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONEELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

3. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT - USE THE SINK.

4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

7. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'TMOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

8. REMEMBER - EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM.

9. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

that's all for this week,
tara!
ij