27 June 2007 (J&D's) - "Vegas Dave learns to string fold"


Game 1 – 10 players - (1st JJ, 2nd Barold, 3rd Jude):

Dave, hot off the plane from Vegas, doubled up early on with 10 8 - 2 pairs- vs Judes KK

Sharon (88) was out first to Dave's trip 4's

Dean got very lucky hitting runner runner for a full house vs my straight

Lee completed a Young nightmare, out next to Ilan's trip 5's

I (A 10) tripled up vs Dan (KQ) and Charlie (99) - Dan out after hitting 2 pair on flop, but a Jack on the river gave me a straight and won me a huge pot

JJ knocked out Charlie with a straight

I doubled up against JJ (A 10) with K 10 hitting 2 kings on the flop !

Ilan fell next to Jude's 10 10

I won a big hand vs Dave with nut flush

I then knock farty Dean out with A9 vs K6 and an Ace on the flop

JJ crippled Dave (6 black chips left ) with AQ vs A9 and a Q on the flop

Dave all out next hand to JJ's JJ !

Jude (AJ) all in - JJ called (A9). Typical of JJ recently, the flop came 9A9 and Jude out in 3rd.

Heads up with JJ I was slight chip leader until all in with K10 - JJ called with 55 and no help for me - I was very low chipped, went all in next hand blind, and lost to JJ's better crap than mine.


Game 2 – 8 players - (1st Charlie, 2nd Dean, 3rd Dan):

JJ crippled Dave with AK vs K9 and a higher straight to the lower straight

Dave then doubled up with KJ vs Lee's JJ hitting a king on the river, to Lee's delight !!

Dave then all in with a flush and straight draw - Ilan calls with 2 pair, but a King on the river gave Ilan a full house and Dave out.

Dean doubled up vs JJ (his nemesis all night) with a full house vs a straight

To huge applause, excitement and joy, I knocked JJ out with 2 pair. There was a huge sense of euphoria in the room, as JJ left the house !!

Charlie doubled up vs me with full house to my trips

I then fell to Charlie (AA)

Ilan out next hand to Dean, followed shortly by Dan.

Heads up, Charlie took the spoils, Dean second.




Poker Rankings table for this week:






Conversation Topics:


Lots of chatter about Vegas, after Dave's trip (for the record, surprisingly, only 13 mentions from Dave, with only 3 name drops !!). The best story was the $17000 cash game when both players in heads up turned over a king of spades. Whoops. Someone had been naughty, but the cameras couldn't tell who, so everyone involved in the hand had to get their money back. DOH !. It seems, however, that the worst thing Dave learnt over there was how to string fold !

The second game was actually quite enjoyable later on, as it got late. Dean helped us all to a game of call my bluff (apt for poker!). Bicepahalous, as we all know means having 2 heads , and not, as Lee suggested, getting syphillis every 2 years.

About an hour was wasted on probability questions - how many children must be in a classroom before the odds are in favour of two of them sharing a birthday ? (20 apparently) - and another about opening a lock on a safe. Exciting stuff.

Dean spent all night farting for Britain, and (as he had been all day to Jude's delight) watching the politics shit on tv - something about some bloke resigning and another taking his job - Wouldn't surprise me if it turned out that Dean grassed him up to HR !




Quotes of the Night:

(Dan delaying game by being in toilet)
Barry: "Dan are you shitting?"
Dan:"No, I'm coming"

Charlie: "Man missing in a dyke ? She must be a big woman !"


Joke of the Week:

(Thanks JJ)

A wealthy hospital benefactor was being shown around the hospital. During her tour she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating furiously.

"Oh my G-D!" screamed the woman. "That's disgraceful!!!!! Why is he doing that?!

"The doctor who was leading the tour calmly explained, "I'm very sorry that you were exposed to that, but this man has a serious condition where his testicles rapidly fill with semen, and if he doesn't do that at least five times a day, he'll be in extreme pain and his testicles could easily rupture."

"Oh, well in that case, I guess it's okay," said the woman. As they passed by the very next room, they saw a male patient laying in bed while a nurse performed oral sex on him. The woman again screamed, "Oh my G-D!!!!! How can THAT be justified?!"

Again the doctor spoke very calmly: "Same illness, but he's with BUPA."


Videos of the Week:

Amazing shot. Love the gun on the wall at the end. Impressive stuff.
http://www.killsometime.com/video/video.asp?ID=953


Image of the Week:

Click to enlarge !




News Stories of the Week:

The world's first ATM was installed 40 years ago this week. But where was it ?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/6230194.stm




Last Year's Blog:

Jude was unmasked as the 21st bomber.

We discussed the positioning of mezuzot and Be’shet.

Ilan was promoted to Elite status following a vote of Elite members.

The personalised message in JJ's salary review this week last year – ‘another good year Jonathan, well done.’


Lewis, who was playing with 5 stitches in his shoulder, dealt for over an hour and warmly embraced the new twin-pack shuffling routine.

The two frogs pictured in a previous blog have croaked. Yisgadal…

The hard work sadly got to one of Dean’s colleagues who passed away this week from a heart-attack aged 34. The funeral will be held at midnight after next year’s planning session. Dean was too busy to attend his corporate hospitality day at Wimbledon. Dan fought back when asked to produce a re-plan at 9pm for the following morning. Now he’s got a whole day to produce it.

At the half way point of the year, last year, this was the table. How times have changed ! Sighhhhhhhhhh.






SPECIAL ONE OFF FEATURE : - Cannons Gym (City)


I have always wondered what happens in a gym when they have a fire drill. I found out today. Unfortunately for me I was swimming when the fire alarm went off. After fighting with the staff for a few minutes, I finally agreed to their request to leave the building. Dripping wet, with just a pair of shorts on, and goggles on my head, I walked out of the building. Luckily they were handing out towels, but still......... !!! Ten minutes later, we were allowed back in. Typical. Oh well. At least I wasn't in the shower.


And on that note, that's all for this week.
B.

20 June 2007 (The Poker Suite) - "Another dull title about JJ's winning streak - BLAH BLAH BLAH""




Game 1 – 9 players - (1st Sharon, 2nd JJ, 3rd James):


JJ (55) knocked Dean (A8) out first

Sharon knocked Lewis out with QQ vs A10

I won big pot off Ilan with straight vs flush

Ilan was then knocked out next hand with flush draw vs Sharon's 2 pair

I was knocked out by Sharon who made a good call after my all in bluff after my flush draw never came. DOH !

Scott out next to Dan (KK)

Lee out next to JJ (copy this now.....)
Dan out next to JJ
James out next to JJ

But in heads up, finally, JJ's reign was over when Sharon beat him into a pulp with a flush on the flop.



Game 2 – 6 players - (1st JJ (boring...), 2nd Lee, 3rd Bazmond):

Dan was out first to Lee

Ilan out next to JJ with a straight (paste)

Paul was huge chip leader but in two hands (10 minutes past curfew) he gave them all to Lee

I fell next to Lee.

Heads up, Lee had 75% of the chips, but after an hour of to-ing and fro-ing JJ had caught up and Lee went all in with 66, JJ called with 10 10, and JJ's reign of terror was back on course, reaping revenge on Mr Young for the cheek of Mrs Young to win a game against him. HOW VERY DARE YOU !


Poker Rankings table for this week:






Conversation Topics:

Dean and Dan spent the whole of the first game rabbiting in my ear about Mr Magoo, the crap architect. We talked about England under 21's losing on penalties 13-12; my motorbike (which turned up to poker at last); Tearage (or lack of), how to service wash the table if Dean spilt port on it, and Ellie Jayson; etc etc.


Quotes of the Night:

Ilan (to me): "You're playing too safe"

Congratulations:

To Jude and Dean on the birth of Ellie Rose. She was going to be called Lara Michal, until they saw her, but chose instead to name her after Asher's toy elephant (Ellie) much to his horror ! Oh well, you can always use Lara for number 4 !!! Mazeltov on the 9lb 10oz bundle of joy and pooh. Just for the record, that is the 3rd Poker Elite baby of 2007 - and all girls (Sadie, Ruby and Ellie). Nice.


Game of the Week:
(didn't work last week, so back by popular demand)
http://www.adultswim.com/games/biblefight/game.swf





News Story of the Week:


ouch.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/4253849.stm?lsm





Joke of the Week:

What marriage is about.
He ordered one hamburger, one order of French fries and one drink.
The old man unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half.
He placed one half in front of his wife.
He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.
He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them. As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them kept looking over and whispering.
You could tell they were thinking, "That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them."
As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table. He politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said they were just fine - They were used to sharing everything.
The surrounding people noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite.
She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.
Again the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said "No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything."
As the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked "What is it you are waiting for?"
She answered:
"THE TEETH"




Last Year's Blog:



Dave (Dan) came up with the 2-pack shuffling idea, which has greatly improved the speed of the game (unless Dean is present).



Quotes of the week last year:



Barry: “you can’t get Scotty off a potty”



Dean commenting on how to avoid Dan crowing over the shuffling idea: “Just don’t let him play again”



Dean: “Has my DVD come yet?”
Barry: “What, Brokeback Mountain?”



Jude to Scott: “I hear your kn0b is small”
Scott: (no response and just went red)



Following last week’s (last year) situation where JJ had to wake Yael up at 3am having forgotten his keys, Lee provided a useful top tip. Simply phone 20 mins before you’re due home and ask the missus to leave the keys outside. That way you don’t end up having the face them and if you’re very lucky they might not remember in the morning.



Vegas Update from Dave:

Dave's flight home was cancelled, so got to stay a bit longer. Played a 70 player $120 tournament and got heads up after 5 hours, and they were evenly split so split the pot !!! KERCHING $$$$$ !! back next week for full account of the trip.




SPECIAL ONE OFF FEATURE : - No time for one this week,
so instead a
Quick quiz:

How to stop JJ getting lucky and winning ?

Answers on a postcard please.


And on that note, that's all for this week.

B.

13 June 2007 (The Poker Suite) - "JJ - First Ever Double Double winner"

Due to Hannah I catching chicken pox, and having to go into hospital for antibiotics for a few days (she is on medicine that can make her seriously ill with Chicken pox) I had to miss poker this week at short notice. Hence no bloggable hands !!



Game 1 – 7 players - (1st JJ *Triple*, 2nd Sharon, 3rd Dan):

Game 2 – 4 players - (1st JJ *Quadruple*, 2nd Dan, 3rd Ilan):



Poker Rankings table for this week:




Congratulations:
To me on my 36-and-a-half'th birthday today!!



Videos of the Week:


Britain's got talent has made me laugh all week. Here are some of the best bits:

Carphone Warehouse phone salesman - (the look on Piers Morgan face when he told them he was there to sing opera - you could see him think 'What a freak", but my oh my, What a voice ! - not bad for a nerd from South Wales - I Love it - it gave me goosebumps - absolutely phenomenal!!!!):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1k08yxu57NA


Monkey Ventriloquist

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZpjYd0sTT0


A baton twirler - how this person controls the baton is amazing. Just a shame its a boy doing it - but he is bloody good !

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8q5QJOwoG4


a 14 year old sang Unchained Melody ! Magic (especially singing the high notes)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0XjsEtrLJg


and finally - the funniest is the knife throwing father & daughter. Look how much he shakes ! Simon saves her life !!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvX1XFCgu08



News Stories of the Week:
watch out for those fish !!


http://news.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,30200-1270154,00.html





Last Year's Blog:


I was made to relive the Wimbledon Tickets fiasco and creative suggestions were offered from around the table.


Quotes of the week (last year):


Barry: after piling his chips up high, announced “just replicating my kn0b”.
Dave: “is it made of chips?”
Barry: “no, it’s black”.


Vegas Update from Dave :

Just missed the money again at the caesars multi table today. Down to last three tables (two paid) and had pocket 4s and all in against ace 10 off. Flopped 4 but came 4 spades to give her a flush. Lucky cow.
On a brighter note just won $175 sit and go that pays for entry into event of wsop so not all bad.May play caesars again tom or the $1500 shootout event. Going to bed now though for a well deserved rest ( its about half three).
Dave


NEW FEATURE : Dan's Ipod Watch

Have you seen Dan's Ipod? He ordered and paid for it on e-bay hoping to take it on holiday with him 1 month ago. No-one has seen or heard from it (or the seller) since. Please help. Week 4 - No sign...Week 5 - no sign - Dans starting to smell a rat - see what happens next week.....

Words of advice for anyone buying anything on Ebay - Dont use bank transfer to pay for your goods. Here it is in Ebay's help:

Payment Methods Benefits and Risks

1. PayPal:

Benefits: Covered up to £500.00 through PayPal's Buyer Protection Programme

2. Bank to Bank Wire Transfers:

Risks: Payment is difficult to recover in cases of fraud

Oh well.





SPECIAL ONE OFF FEATURE : - How to Spot if a man is a Millionaire !











And on that freaky note, that's all for this week.

B.

6 June 2007 (The Poker Suite) - "Dean Pea-nalised for 'running' late"


Game 1 – players - (1st JJ, 2nd Barry, 3rd Lee):

After a late start (8.45pm - due to most people turning up so late - POOR SHOW !!)

In a big early hand Charlie was unlucky with his AA vs my 99, as I hit a 9 on the flop for trips

Charlie (A9) then survived an all in after splitting pot with JJ (AQ) (straight)

I got trip 9's again for another big pot

Charlie (KK) then was unlucky when all in after splitting pot with JJ (10J) with another straight on the board

Charlie's luck ran out and soon fell to James

Sharon all in doubles up vs Lee

JJ then knocked Sharon out

Jude (AQ) fell next to JJ's QQ

Dan was then out to the rampant JJ (flush)

I knocked Ilan out with 2 pair

JJ knocked Dean (33) out with a straight

JJ knocked Lee out with a straight (see the theme here....?)

Heads up, with me and JJ, I couldn't stand in the way of JJ's steam roller and soon was crushed into 2nd place



Game 2 – players - (1st JJ, 2nd Lee, 3rd Ilan):

Dean out in the 3rd hand with lower flush to Ilan's nut flush

In the next hand, Ilan tripled up after knocking James out with straight vs 2 pair

Charlie (33) was out next to JJ (66) (here we go again) after a 6 on the flop

I had 22, and called an all in from Dan after much deliberation after 56Q on flop all diamonds. Might have been a daft call but I put Dan on Nut flush draw (one of my 2's was a diamond). As it was, Dan had 2 pairs (5's and 6's) but the next card out was a diamond and Dan sent packing (unlucky!)

Lee (KQ) then knocked me (A10) out when KQ hit on the flop. I go home at 2.05am

JJ knocked Ilan out with pocket 10s versus pocket 9s.

heads-up with Lee started fairly even. Monster hand saw a flop of 66J. The turn was a 5 and the river another 6. JJ had four 6s (holding 86 as big blind) and Lee hit the full house as he held a 5. The game was over a couple of hands later. Finished just before 3am. JJ double winner - JJ is the new Dave !!


Poker Rankings table for this week:



Conversation Topics:

Lots of talk mainly about Dean's rule breaking. Dean decided to go for a jog at around the same time he should have been bluffing, so was very late. Talk about Lost, the Apprentice shopping task from last week, England beating Estonia 3-0. But the evening was dominated by talk about Dean's blatant disregard for the game. Lots of suggestions on punishments but at about 1am we settled on a cup of tea (kettle donated by Ilan - cups by me.)


Pictures of the Week:

Frank Lampard in training ground bust up:





Motorbike of the week:

Mine. No proof that it is mine, couldn't be arsed putting the v5 on here, but next sunny wednesday I will be riding it in (honest!!):







News Stories of the Week:

shows the state of the world !!

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2007250527,00.html

Last Year's Blog:

"The reason for Dean’s late working hours was finally revealed as it turns out that Accenture promotions are announced at 10.50pm on a random night each year and if you’re not around then you have to wait for the following year.

Charlie’s geek status was threatened – first he provided out of date information on HDTV, then he managed to dislodge the TV’s scart cable before failing in his ‘fix Lee’s PC’ challenge. Dean then feigned interest in Charlie’s career – when all he was interested in was to pitch for some work.

The most interesting topic of discussion was to how to watch Shabbat World Cup games without compromising your principles. Barry’s Shabbat Shmodesh idea was the clear winner. Shabbat Shmodesh occurs every 4 years in the summer and allows one to watch TV (football games only, no children’s crap) in peace."



This week’s (last year) definition:

Burgering – verb, to spit roast a dwarf.

This week’s (last year) trivia:

Dave raised the debate of whether a person whose hands were chopped off and reattached on the opposite hand would remain right/left-handed.


SPECIAL ONE OFF FEATURE : - Women !!
(click to see larger images):












Update from Vegas:

Dave's first tournament saw him get AA early on, but was soon whittled down by the blinds, and so no joy. To be continued..............



And on that note, that's all for this week.

B.