21 February 2007 (S&L's House) - "Barcelona beaten by Benitez's brilliant boys"

Game 1 – 9 players - (1st Dan, 2nd Lee, 3rd Dave):

Old Baz showed his face as I fell first (A3) to Dave's A10.

Dean followed shortly after with 99 to Jude and Dave's split pot hitting Aces.

Lee doubled up from JJ with 69 (and a bacdoor and a half flush draw that hit after runner runner hearts, and with it knocked Ilan out.

Jude then out to Dan's nut flush.

Lee (pair of kings) knocked Sharon out next.

JJ (33) then out to Dan with KQ (K on board)

Dan(AA) knocked Dave out in 3rd place after Dave hit a Q on the flop
next hand Lee out in 2nd (A10) vs Dan's AK. Game over.



Game 2 – 6 players - (1st JJ, 2nd Lee, 3rd Barry):

Dave out first to JJ's straight on flop

Dan out next to Ilan's pair (5's)

New IJ all out with A7 to JJ's A9 and able to give Dan a lift home.

I went all in with KQ and a King on the flop, only to be sent home by JJ's AK (b*stard)

heads up, to-ing and fro-ing, until JJ (AJ) called Lee's all in (A10) - nothing hit. JJ winner.


Poker Rankings table for this week:




Conversation Topics:

Not much really. General television and football conversations. Liverpool beat Barcelona at the Nou camp 2-1, in the first leg of the Champions league 4th round. Liverpool are the only team EVER, to beat Barcelona at the Nou camp in a European football game - and they've done it twice - the first time was almost 4 years ago ! Oh, and Spurs beat Everton, for their 2nd away win of the season.


Poker kids quotes of the week:

Ruby Y., whilst Daddy watching football, and refusing to put her telly on:
"Daddy, I support Arsenal then"

Yardena J., whilst watching Daddy pick up all of the toys out of the bath:
"Good boy, Daddy"


Joke of the Week:

A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Prada suit, Gucci shoes, Dior sunglasses and D+G tie, leans out the window and asks the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?"
The shepherd looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing flock and calmly answers:
"Sure. Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Vodafone cell phone, surfs to a NASA page on the internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an e-mail on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formulae.
He uploads all of this data via an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-colour, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturised HP LaserJet printer, turns to the shepherd and says: "You have exactly 1,586 sheep".
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my sheep," says the shepherd. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the boot of his car.
Then the shepherd says to the young man "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my sheep?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says: "Okay, why not?"

"You're a consultant" says the shepherd. "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie. "But how did you guess that?" "No guessing required," answers the shepherd.

"You showed up here even though nobody called you, you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked, and you know f**k-all about my business. Now give me back my dog."


Link of the Week:

Drives you crazy. Read the questions very carefully:
http://users.skynet.be/bk258512/idiot_test.swf



Video of the Week:

How do you know you can do this ? Draw a perfect circle........
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAhfZUZiwSE


Pictures of the Week:

Daft answers to school exam questions: (click to view larger pic)































SPECIAL ONE OFF FEATURE - : Giant Shnitzels, Sausages and Burgers

Restaurant in Austria. Fancy a (big) bite?

That's all for this week.
B.

14 February 2007 (S&L's House) - "Take That - gotta have a little patieeeeeeeeence"

Game 1 – 8 players - (1st Dave, 2nd Rouv, 3rd Lee):

Sharon (AQ) fleeced Lee (JJ) early on hitting a Q on the river. Lots of red chips in lieu of the non existent roses Sharon received for Valentines day.

I went all in after doing nothing, with 10J of hearts. JJ called with 55 and nothing else hit so, and this may shock you, I was out first.

Dan was put all in by JJ - both with flush draws (JJ had the A) but Dan hit a 10 and doubles up.

Lee (AQ) all in. Sharon(KQ) calls. nothing hit. Lee back in it.

Sharon (QQ) all in. Dan (A9) calls. A hit. Sharon out.

JJ called all in before the cards are shown. no one called, unfortunately - after looking at his cards to see 89 of an unnamed suit.

Lee doubled up vs Dave with 2 pair.

Dave all in. JJ called. JJ hit straight. Dave hit nut flush. JJ left with a quid. Out next hand to Dan.
The Lord above frowned upon Ilan's blatant blasphemy and knocked him out with AJ when with A9, Lee hit a 9 on the river, sending the devil child out of the game.

Praise be He.

Due to the CONTroversy (or conTROVersy) of JJ's all in call earlier, and thus, under the "what you say is what you must do" rule, Dan predeclared he would go all in, in 16 hands time. Not many chips, but we count down....

Lee (QJ) all in. Dave (99) called. 2 pair on board (A's & 10's) made Lee the winner. Doubles up.

Dan makes it to the 16th hand, and..........goes all in blind. Rouv calls with KJ. Dan had 10 2 hearts. 10 on flop, but K on river. Dan out.

Then there were 3.

Lee (A10) all in. Dave (K 10) hit a K and Lee out.

Heated Heads up between Dave and Rouv.

Rouv, short stacked, doubled up with A6 vs K4 (6 hit on flop)
then lost most of it on the next hand. Dave huge chip leader.

Then Rouv got a lot back with trip Kings, and lost them on the next hand !!!

Lee then deals the cards and his first hand Rouv (88) goes all in. Dave had hit a flush, and game over.


Game 2 – 7 players - (1st BAZZA (at last), 2nd Dave , 3rd Pissed JJ):

First hand we had an amazing 4 way split pot with AAKAQ on board and a Jack high the highest card held (Dave) - I had 83. nice to 'win' my 50p back with that board !

Ilan then talked JJ into calling a huge pot which Dave had raised. Dave was bluffing, representing a straight, but JJ won with KKK

Rouv made an odd call with 10 10 with A33 on board after Lee went all in. Lee had AK and Rouv sent home.

Dan then went all in with AK, Dave called with 910 and 9 and a 10 hit (and a K) and Dan out.

7th beer of the night helped JJ call a £5 bet from Dave - Dave had a full house, JJ crippled

Ilan then folded 92. 922 on flop would have given full house. 2 on turn would have made 4 of a kind ! (G-d's will in there somewhere)

I went all in with QQ. Dave called with 66 and nothing else hit - I double up.

I won a lot of chips off Ilan who folded 88 - I had KK

Ilan then doubled up with A10 vs Dave A9. 9 hit but so did a 10.

Dave then all in with K9. Pissed JJ called with 9 10. nothing hit, Dave doubled up.

Lee called Dave's all in with top pair (K's) - Dave had nut flush draw, which hit and Lee very low chipped.

Lee was then soon out to Dan with A10 vs QJ

Ilan then fell to Dave.

Pissed JJ (AK) called a 77 all in by Dave. 2 sevens on the board gave Dave 4 of a kind, and Pissed JJ out

Heads up with me and Dave, there were a few big swing hands, until the final all in by me with A4 diamonds, Dave called with K10 - flush hits on river. My first victory of 2007. Yyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Poker Rankings table for this week (well done me ):

Conversation Topics:

G-d was the hot topic, with Ilan the sole believer that He doesn't exist. No amount of discussion could change his stance. When the time comes, he'll know. G-d, however, proved his point, by sending Ilan home with nothing. New Baz played the second game, after crashing out first in the first game, whilst Pissed JJ miscounted his beer consumption all night (I think 7 bottles was the true figure). The Brit awards provided some entertainment, with Take That winning best single with "Patience", which Pissed JJ duly sang all night for us. Bolton's 93rd minute equaliser against the Arse, although giving us all a good laugh, proved pointless as the Arse went on to win after extra time.

Mazeltov of the week:

Ilan's mum is 60 this week. Happy Birthday

Illusion of the week:

Are squares A and B the same colour ??

They actually are. For proof either copy and paste into paintbrush and put the squares together, or click the picture below I have done for you. It really is amazing - but they are the same colour !!

Joke of the Week:

Two women meet in heaven:
1st Woman: Hi! My name is Wanda.

2nd woman: Hi! I'm Sylvia. How'd you die?

1st woman: I Froze to Death.

2nd woman: How Horrible!

1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?

2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

1st woman: So, what happened?

2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.

1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the chest freezer - we'd both still be alive.

Valetine Present of the Year:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/player/nol/newsid_6350000/newsid_6355700/6355727.stm?bw=bb&mp=rm


Videos of the Week:

Especially for Charlie, and anyone with an hour and a half spare. A video (in 3 parts) called Loose Change, that is storming America by claiming that terrorists weren't behind the atrocities of 9/11. I have watched them all and they are compelling viewing, and it does make you wonder....so much so, that in a recent poll, 75% of Americans now believe that America orchestrated the events themselves. Crikey !! (you need to login to view vids 2 and 3 - id and password both "thepokerelite")

1. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDx1GLqvBO8

2. http://www.youtube.com/watch?search=&mode=related&v=wJZlZP0vbCE

3. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-J7ipvgBLGc&mode=user&search=

Picture of the Week:

what you'll get on your dinner plate after forgetting Valentines Day:

That's all for this week. The blog continues with New Baz next week, who I'm pretty sure will get lost on route to Finchley, allowing old Baz to return and be out first again in the first game........Rock and Roll..........

B.

7 February 2007 (S&L's House) - "Snow such luck"

Game 1 – players - (1st Dan, 2nd Jude , 3rd Basra):

Sharon (33) was out first, knocked out by Dean (JJ)

Jude knocked Lee out with 2 pair vs Lee’s top pair (K)

Dave went all in with Q8 – JJ called with A10 - nothing came – Dave out

JJ was then annihilated by Jude in 2 hands – the first Jude had 66, J had AK – Ace on the flop but a 6 on the river halved his stack. In the second hand Jude had 10 10, JJ went all in with 77 – nothing else hit and JJ finished 4th

I then walked into Dan’s 2 pair and was out in 3rd.

Heads up was a cautious affair between Dan and Jude. Jude hit her 2nd trips on the river to get a big chip lead. 4 hours of dull boredom later, with everyone else snowed in, Jude and Dan were still playing. Chip leader had alternated 5 times, and still no sign of a winner. In the end, though, Dan triumphed. Unfortunately for him, everyone else had fallen asleep, and no one gave a toss.

Game 2 – players - (1st Lee , 2nd Dave, 3rd Ilan):

I again lost a load of chips with 2 pairs to Lee’s straight

JJ revealed his cards as he went all in, with 83, before Lee had decided what he was going to do. Lee was always gonna call with JQ suited and nothing hit – JJ sent home first.

I got whittled down by the blinds and was soon taken out with Ilan’s K’s to my Jacks.

Lee then went on to beat Dave heads up, with Ilan in 3rd place, and Dan 4th.

Poker Rankings table for this week:

Conversation Topics:

Snow was expected tonight, but there was no sign of it by 1.00am. The poker tournament (see below) was talked about a fair bit, as was the inability of Steve Maclaren, as Spain beat England 1-0 in a friendly.


Congratulations:

Congratulations to Dean on winning the 3rd MDA Charity Poker event on Saturday night. 22 players of all standards, and sexes, battling it out for their name on that elusive trophy (shame on you Aron for not polishing it). I had a disastrous night calling an all in with 2 pair (K & J's) to be mullered by Aron's trip 7's. I had few chips left and they didn't last long. Luckily for me (not so luckily for all those who bet on me or Dan to be out first!), Talli pipped me to the first-out-chocolates prize by about 2 minutes. Jude followed me out not so long after (shame on you, whoever it was, knocking out the hostess), and after a good 3 hours of poker, we were down to our last 8.
The final table consisted of Gaby, Scott, Andrew, Dave, Dalia Y, Lee, JJ and Dean. The two girls did very well to get to the final table considering their (alleged) inexperience. But in the end, experience was the key, and Lee, JJ and Dean, the last 3 Elite members left standing, made it to the last 3. Dave would have joined them, probably, had Dean not wiped him out, beating Dave's pocket Queen's with pocket 6's by hitting a 6 on the board. Unlucky Dave, but that is this damn annoying game we play ! Lee soon fell to the two huge chip leaders, although he did well to get so far on so little chips (Lee's trademark patience paid off), and at one point looked like he might do it by amassing quite a stack.

However, heads up, with JJ and Dean, was never going to take long, and as sure as dwarves live in Borehamwood, JJ went all in with Q6 suited after not so very long, and Dean's hand held up (cant remember his hand) to take victory.
Much was said about both surnames on the cup ending with 'son' - IsaacSON & JackSON before the games began, and now JaySON (all in alphabetical order, too) will adourn it forever (I bet Jude spells that one right !!). A good night was had by all, £700 was raised for a truly worthy cause, and special thanks to Jude for arranging it, and Dean for those sausage rolls. See you all next year !

Birthdays:

Happy 3rd birthday to my daughter Hannah. Bless her !

Quotes of the Night:

no Danisms or special quotes tonight.


Story of the Week:

http://news.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,91059-1248806,00.html




Picture of the Week:

Jade gives birth.

Videos of the Week:

After an awful bad beat at the charity event on Saturday night, pilot Andrew Zucker takes his revenge when flying the Jayson family on holiday the following week:

http://bad-landing.freeonlinegames.com/

Borehamwood Leisure centre hosts the first fight of its kind in Hertfordshire:

http://dwarf-fight.freeonlinegames.com/

And finally, Vic shows why he can't concentrate on poker long enough to win a game:

http://rubiks-cube-freak.freeonlinegames.com/

SPECIAL ONE OFF FEATURE - : Car comparison - Why Ferrari is better than Kia:

Ferrari

Kia

NB - addition on Thursday morning. Weather girl Sharon was fired this morning for failing to predict the snow storm sweeping thru the south East. Just for Sharon, here is my garden this morning. Beautiful.

That's all for this week.
B.