29 November (S&L’s house) £40 profit – “Vic wins lead role as blonde antelope”

Game 1 (1st JJ, 2nd Dan, 9 players)

Barry and I arrived late and missed Lewis’s early decimation of Sharon’s chips. Dan KO’d Sharon with JJJ55 versus JJJ33.

On my second hand I held KK and eagerly awaited the flop. Post flop (J53) Lee re-raised me, so I re-raised him and Lee went all-in. I called and Lee revealed JJ. S#ite. However, in amazing scenes I hit runner runner hearts to double up. The Youngs were both sat on their sofa by 9.30pm – astonishing.

Barry tripled up versus Jude and Lewis.

Dan KO’d Dave with trip 10s.

I quite quickly lost loads of my ‘hard-earned’ chips.

IJ doubled up with a lucky flush versus Jude (runner runner again).

I doubled up in style against Barry with a lovely 9 on the river.

Dan KO’d both Lewis and Jude with an A on the river.

In a key hand for me, I hit a flush on the river to double up against Barry.

Dan KO’d Barry and IJ with A9 versus 62 and AJ respectively. Dan – you knocked out everyone up until heads-up.

Heads-up I got very lucky again with runner runner for a straight against Dan.

Shortly after Dan got lucky when only the board pairing made it a split pot.

In the final hand Dan went all-in with A2 and I called with Q8. The flop came 2 and then 8 and it was all over. Congrats to me on my first win for ages.

Game 2 (1st Dave, 2nd Ilan, 6 players)

Like buses you wait ages and then three come along all at once. We had 3 four of a kinds including two four of a kings in less than an hour.

First Barry hit four 7s. Then Lee hit four Ks with his hand improving from two pair on the flop, to full house on the turn and to four of a kind on the river.

Incredibly Barry repeated this feat two hands later.

IJ KO’d Barry with trip 8s.

Lee doubled up with A9 versus my A8. I hit my 8 on the river but it made Lee a straight also.

Dan KO’d Lee with AJ versus KJ.

IJ had AA versus me before Dave knocked me out with top pair.

That left Dave, Dan and IJ.

The killer hand was Dave 8 9 off - Dan had A 2 - flop came 7 8 7 - small bet dan - dave calls - 8
- checks then A on river Dan goes all in and Dave cleans up having reeled Dan in "Good n proper"

Ilan was v small stack and did not last long. Congrats to Dave on his first win for ages.

Video of the week (from Lee)

I managed to track down the link to this week’s video of Vic playing heads-up poker. Such style and grace…

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3728266100951844857

Conversation topics

Jude revealed that on average she sees Dean for 20 minutes each day. It’s a good job Accenture is so committed to work-life balance. http://careers3.accenture.com/Careers/Global/WorkingHere/WorkLifeBalance/

Barry is seriously considering purchasing trophies for the league table winners. He’s due to present himself with the trophy he bought for himself in four weeks. A photographer and lighting crew have been booked.

Dan seems to have been affected by the Polonium outbreak as he spent a good hour working out whether he’d been to a certain restaurant before deciding it was a completely different one. Then he convinced me and Lee that the second test was about to start – it starts tonight.

Quote of the week

Lee was talking about the restaurant asiadecuba. Dan: “”What kind of food do they serve?”

Story of the week (from Barry)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/6190772.stm

Fancy a bite? (I dare anyone to buy and eat this impressive looking chocolate in one sitting)

http://www.woolworths.co.uk/ww_p2/product/index.jhtml?pid=50295663

Sledging (may be we’ll win this competition)

http://www.cricket-forum.net/aus/Crickets_Greatest_Sledges_99221.html

El Al food (thanks to Barry)

This might well catch on…




















Bad names (thanks to Dave)

So you think you’ve got a bad name…









































Poker card sharks

http://news.sky.com/skynews/picture_gallery/picture_gallery/0,,30000-1242416,00.html

Brainteaser

Congratulations to Barry on a partial correct answer to last week’s brainteaser. The answer was 3 muskateers - Athos, Porthos, and Aramis.

See below for this week’s teaser. Can you decipher this anatomical letter equation?

4 = B o t L (F, T, P, F)

Date for the diary

The third annual charity poker extravaganza is provisionally scheduled for Feb 3rd. Please keep the date free.

22 November (S&L’s house) £0 loss – “Vic takes first place – only joking, he came second again!”

Game 1 (1st Charlie, 2nd Ilan)

Barry notes the following: Scott was out in the first round and had a long wait. Charlie, who at one point was down to about 20 chips, won about 5 hands on the river to win 1st place, followed by Ilan. Sharon got a tenner for 3rd.

Game 2 (1st Barry, 2nd Vic)

Second game Dave read Dean's text that he was turning up, after we had played the first hand, so we spent 10 minutes working out how many chips to siphon off everyone's pile to give to Dean.

After a long game (finished after 2am) I beat Vic in heads up - catching an A on the river after Vic had caught a 3 for a pair.

Story of the week – a dedicated monk

http://today.reuters.co.uk/news/articlenews.aspx?type=oddlyEnoughNews&storyid=2006-11-22T112056Z_01_BKK284926_RTRIDST_0_OUKOE-UK-LIFE-THAILAND-MONK.XML&src=rss

How to?

http://www.wikihow.com/Survive-a-Plane-Crash

Like smashing things up

Look no further than http://www.smashmyps3.com/ (thanks to Charlie)

Strangers of the flight (Frank Sinatra as you’ve never heard him)

http://www.animatronics.org/strangers/strangers.htm

Torn (amusing video from Marc Heller)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hCyQ4tYVRX8&mode=related&search

Photo of Ruud Van Nistelroy

















Brainteaser

Congratulations to Lewis on the first correct answer to last week’s brainteaser. The answer was pac man.

See below for this week’s teaser.

Letter equations are well known phrases or facts where the key words have been replaced with the first letter of that word. These are often in the form of an equation, which contain a number, an = sign and the rest of the obscured phrase or fact.

Solve this:
3 = M (A, P, and A)

15 November (S&L’s house) £10 loss – “Burn Davy Burn”

Game 1 (1st Jude, 2nd IJ, 9 players)

I won some early chips with a straight versus IJ and Barry’s two pairs.

Wictor (Finnish Vic) had just finished the first chapter of his new book ‘raising for beginners’ and was raising like a madman early on to good effect.

Dan arrived to finish off Bazturd. As Barry left for the sofa, he shouted “I’m a bazturd, get me out of here”.

In a big pot, IJ tripled up versus Sharon and Vic. Sharon then generously gave £4 to IJ calling with J high Scott-style.

Jude doubled up versus Dave with 66 versus A8 suited.

Dan doubled up versus IJ with a royal flush draw plus top pair.

IJ doubled up again versus Vic with 2 pair versus top pair.

I raised pre-flop and with a flop of Q 10 2 (3 spades) and holding JJ (with a spade) I raised. Dave went all-in (had tripped 10s on the flop) and I called and hit another J plus the flush to win a big if slightly fortunate pot.

Jude was very lucky to double up against me with A9 versus AK. As we turned over our cards Jude said “I’d be happy if you won”; so happy that you pulled a full house.

The A9 giveth and taketh as both Youngs were KO’d by my 99. Lee had 82.

In the first £15.75 bet of the night Dave got lucky to double up with K 10 versus Wic’s AJ.

I KO’d Dan and had a nice strong chip position.

Two hands saw to that as IJ doubled up with KK (not a good hand for me tonight for or against me) versus my A 10. I then lost loads more chips chasing a flush from the flop that never came. 1st to 4th in 2 hands.

IJ doubled up against Dave, before Dave got lucky with 10 2 (Doyle Brunson’s hand) to triple up versus me and Jude (who won the side pot against me with a lucky river). Dave exited shortly after to IJ’s JJ.

In a scandal-ridden hand, with the muppets (Barry and Dan) dealing it was discovered that the packs were mixed up. We all carried on regardless and I got shafted by a K on the river. I had pocket 9s. Jude had folded after the flop.

Heads-up was a dull affair as it went back and forth with the underdog repeatedly hitting cards to double up. The final two hands saw Jude dealt AJ and despite a ridiculous straight on the board in the first one saving IJ, the second one was good enough to win with a J on the river to defeat IJ’s pair of 4s.

Game 2 (1st Bazturd, 2nd IJ, 7 players)

I won some early chips with a nice £10 raise which Vic called. I had nut flush.

In a sign of things to come, Barry then doubled up with a lucky nut straight versus Dan.

Cheating Raba (anagram) Vic then chose to have a sneaky look at the folded cards. As I turned to my left, Dave looked like thunder. Don’t suggest you do that again Vic.

I hit top pair (QQ), top kicker and raised £15.75 (with hindsight this wasn’t particularly sensible). Barry called with KK and won a monster to double up. This was my second unfortunate experience with pocket Kings of the night. The third was just around the corner as I was dealt KK, went all-in versus Bazturd’s QJ and watched in horror as first a J then a Q came to send me home to bed where I slept soundly all night (not!).

Barry continues…

"JJ left, steaming.

Dan went all in pre flop with QQ - Ilan and Dave both called. Board came Q J 9 9 9, Dan had high full house and tripled up. (Barry had chucked a 9).

Then Dan went all in after flop of A 3 4 with AK, Barry called with A8 knowing he was outkickered. next card Q, river card - 8 - Barry 2 pair on river. Dan also out and steaming. 10 minutes in garden to cool down.

Lee (AJ) was out next to Ilan (9K) after going all in after turn (J) : board was 9 9 2 J 10 - Ilan had already hit trips.

Vic (Q 7) was next out to Barry (Q 10 both spades) - flop was 5 2 4 spades. next 2 cards couldn't help Vic against Barry's flush and he was out in 4th place.

Dave was next to go, pairing a 6 on the board, Ilan hit an A on the river and Dave finished 3rd.

Ilan vs Barry heads up. pretty even chips throughout. Big swing hand – Barry hit middle pair on flop (10) with a straight draw and a flush draw. Goes all in. Ilan calls with top pair (J) but again, the lucky river for Barry brought a Q and a straight. Ilan crippled.

Next hand Barry (QK) calls Ilan's all in (6 K both diamonds) - flop 3d 5s 10d - Ilan flush draw. Turn was 6 spades. Ilan pair sixes and flush draw, and for the final time tonight, the Poker G-ds shone on Barry as the river showed a Qh and Barry took the spoils. Unbelievable luck"

Conversation topics

Burns victim Dave (see photo below) was on the receiving end of a savage attack from the East Finchley Scalder (Sharon). As if pouring tea down his neck wasn’t bad enough, Sharon then told Dave to be careful. As a result of the third accident at poker (see previous blogs), an accident log book will now be maintained.







Quotes of the night

Sharon to Dave (after pouring tea down his neck): “Careful!”

Life at Accenture

With Dean out at a nut-tasting event before jetting off to a nut conference in San Diego (see http://www.expocadweb.com/05demo/CC/forms/attendee/index.aspx?content=welcome), it was left to Dan to arrive nice and late.

Help Vic (the drunk) home!

http://www.freeonlinegames.com/play/405.html

This is surprisingly difficult (even when sober).

Learn Yiddish with George and Laura (thanks to Dave)

http://www.vidlit.com/gandl/

Story of the week

http://today.reuters.co.uk/news/articlenews.aspx?type=oddlyEnoughNews&storyid=2006-11-09T232107Z_01_N09375102_RTRIDST_0_OUKOE-UK-LIFE-ROCKS.XML&src=rss

How to?

Here’s a fun activity for the whole family.

http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Chain-from-Starburst-Wrappers

Brainteaser

Congratulations to Dave (first correct answer) and Barry on solving last week’s brainteaser. The answer was 131.

See below for this week’s teaser.

Eating white is what I mostly do
If quick enough, a fruit and some things blue

When you see pink, sky blue, orange, or red
It would be wise to turn my yellow head

In a dark room with blue walls
I run from the ghosts that roam the halls

What am I?

8 November (Jude’s house) £20 loss – “Walnut Dean, you white anchor”

Game 1 (1st Scott, 2nd Barry, 10 then 9 then 8 players, then 9 then 10 players)

I started promisingly hitting 9999 to decimate Dan who’d hit top pair. Dan exited one hand later. A3 losing to Barry’s J10. Scott’s curse of a few weeks ago is starting to unsettle Dan.

Jude made an excellent lay down with trip 7s on the flop versus Barry (flush).

Lee doubled up with higher two pair versus Barry (the first of many 2 pair beats for Barry on the night).

Dave doubled up with 55 and a crunchie all-in raise.

Scott tripled up versus me and Dave (KO’d).

Barry doubled up versus Scott and then hit 6666 to all-but triple up.

IJ went all-in with QJ after my raise and I called with AK suited. The dirty b@stard hit a straight on the flop and I was out a couple of hands later to the same dirty b@stard.

Sharon wisely laid down QQ versus Lee’s straight.

Dean was now snoring on the sofa and Scott showed his impressive throwing skills hitting Walnut Dean on the face twice and narrowly missing the groin with a selection of nuts.

Sharon went all-in with 55 and Lee doubled up with KQ (which tripped up).

Barry doubled up with 34 versus Lee’s AQ.

Scott doubled up with a straight that IJ never saw – foolish!

Scott finally KO’d IJ.

Tortoise Dan’s dealing slowed further.

In what should have been the end of the game, Barry and Lee were both all-in and both had QQ. Scott had A9 suited and would have won. Instead we had to sit through another 45 mins.

Scott eventually KO’d Lee hitting a lucky J with QJ versus AQ.

Heads-up Scott had a decent lead that grew bigger. Scott called Barry’s all-in with middle pair and then hit top pair. Barry hit 2 pairs on the river and thought he’d doubled up but he hadn’t as Scott had the higher two pairs KK77 versus JJ44.

Game 2 (1st Scott, 2nd Lee, 6 players plus nut-strewn Dean asleep)

The second game heralded the return of pocket rockets which had been absent in the first game. First Dan won with 99955 versus IJ’s pocket rockets.

I lost chips to Lee and then more to Scott before going all-in with A5 suited. Scott had 99. Despite hitting the A, the 9 came on the turn to KO me.

IJ doubled up versus Barry with a lucky Q on the river versus 10 10.

IJ was then out to Lee’s AK.

Lee KO’d Barry with 8s and 2s versus 4s and 2s. Nice work.

As I was leaving someone got 3333 – the third four of a kind of the night.

Dan was then out leaving Scott and Lee to battle it out. Scott made it a double. Congrats to a Scott on an impressive double win. It makes up for being egged in the street on Halloween. Walnut Dean owes you a tenner.

Quotes of the night

Scott to Dean after he calls Jude’s all-in bet with 64: “You drunk fool”

Barry: “What will happen when the Mashiach comes?”
Me: “Vic will win a game”

Mazel tovs

Happy 34th birthday to Vic for next Sunday. May the coming be equally as successful on the poker circuit. Looking for positives, it’s difficult to envisage a worse performance.

Techno-geek Charlie’s online post

Check out Charlie’s sad post:

http://www.avforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=420210

Heather Mill’s pussy




















‘Why are you single?’ photo















Story of the week – I can see this taking off!

http://news.sky.com/skynews/video/videoplayer/0,,31200-underwear_081106_1100,00.html

Conversation topics

The main topic of conversation centred on what happens when the Mashiach comes. Aside from Vic actually winning a game of poker, the main views are summarised at http://www.answers.com/topic/jewish-messiah

IJ revealed GE are about to repossess the Houses of Parliament.

Brainteaser

Congratulations to Lewis on solving last week’s brainteaser. The answer was 8 on a keyboard (the 8 is below the asterisk, though on the same button. It is above the letters U & I. Underneath those is the letter J. Skip a row down and you see the space bar. Above the 8 are the F6 and F7 function keys. To the left is the seven, which has the & symbol. To the right is the number nine.)

See below for this week’s teaser.

Recently, Brainiac, the extremely rich father of Brainiac Jr. had passed away. He had left one million dollars to Brainiac Jr.

However, the money was locked in a safe, and Brainiac Jr. would not get the money unless he knew the combination. Brainiac, being the brainiac that he is, left a number series for his son to work out. If he could not figure it out, he wouldn't get anything.

The combination is a 3-digit number, and to stop him randomly guessing he would only be able to try once every day.

Here is the series:

3, 11, 31, 55, 91, ...

Brainiac Jr. managed to finish the series, and get the million dollars. Can you?

The table

Barry kindly circulated the attached table (For those that don’t know Gill is some bird that played once not Gil). For those that give a s#it please note your position. For those that don’t give a s#it, pretend not to look, but look anyway.




















Xmas countdown (special feature for Walnut Dean)

http://www.thecountdownclock.com/christmas-kids.asp – this is what Dean really wants for Xmas.

1 November (S&L’s house) £0 loss – “C*nt takes all”

For the sake of clarity, Barry is known as C*nt and Charlie is affectionately known as c*nty during this week’s blog. Scott will still be known as c*nt for eternity.

Game 1 (1st C*nt, 2nd C*nty, 10 players)

Dave won early chips from Charlie hitting the nuts (QJ High straight) on the turn versus Charlie’s AA.

Next hand it was Sharon’s turn to win with AA.

Next hand it was my turn to KO Vic with a measly KK. It turned out unlucky Vic would have hit his A after 36 cards.

C*nty doubled up next hand with AA versus IJ’s JJ.

C*nty then showed the sort of form that earned him the name c*nty in the following hand. Dan and Lee both flopped the nut straight on the flop. Dan went all-in, Lee obviously called and so did c*nty who had trip 9s on the flop. The river paired the board and Lee and Dan were taken out.

C*nty then KO’d IJ with another full house.

Sharon doubled up on the river (dirty b@stard x 25) versus Dave with a lucky Q.

Dave then exited to c*nty who hit his up and down on the river (dirty b@stard x 50).

I tripled up with KK versus c*nt and c*nty. Sweet.

At this point the birthday cake arrived.

Cocky c*nty had so many chips he started building Vegas-style hotels but there were soon shot down by a passing phone.

C*nt KO’d Jude.

In the first of two very unlucky exchanges for me with c*nt, I held KK and tripped up on the flop. C*nt hit a straight on the turn to KO me causing me to throw my chips at said c*nt and injure poor Jude in the process.

Sharon fell to c*nt who’d hit two pairs.

Heads-up it was c*nt and c*nty and c*nty held a big lead. There was a swing hand to c*nt but I didn’t give this undeserving heads-up any respect by noting what it was and c*nt eventually won with J9.

Game 2 (1st C*nt, 2nd JJ, 8 players)

C*nt continued where he’d left off with early AA.

C*nt then KO’d c*nty in a hand that showed all of c*nty’s experience. The flop was JAK (2 diamonds) and was followed by two more diamonds. C*nt had hit the straight on the turn and improved it to the nut flush on the river and was itching for a call. C*nty duly obliged.

Dan then tried a risky all-in manoeuvre versus bagel man (IJ) and ended up with egg on his face as IJ called with top pair and Dan revealed he had nothing. Dan was KO’d the next hand by c*nt as was c*nty.

C*nt then KO’d Dave with two pairs.

Lee doubled up with flush on turn versus my top pair on the flop.

In a wonderful hand I played my short stack blind and revealed 45 when Vic called my all-in. The flop came A8456 – sweet!

Lee doubled again with 10 10 versus IJ’s 33.

IJ then tripled up, then doubled up twice more (getting lucky against me twice) before getting unlucky with the best hand versus c*nt (K9 versus 10 9) and a 10 hit on the river.

I doubled up versus c*nt with QQQ88 and then did it again with JJ versus 55.

Vic doubled up against c*nt with a lucky 3 on the river (AQ versus A3).

C*nt (A8) then showed some more form hitting a low straight on the river (4 runners required) to double up versus Lee’s JJ.

I KO’d Vic with 99.

Heads-up I had the lead, lost it (c*nt had QQ) and then got it back (with nice trip 10s) to about 60:40 in c*nt’s favour when the unspeakable happened. I was dealt AA and called. C*nt went all-in with KJ pre-flop. The flop was 10 A 9 and there followed an outrageous J followed by Q to give the c*nt his undeserved double – and no I’m not bitter, I’m steaming.

Mazel tov

Mazel tov to Dave on another strong online performance winning a grand by coming 6th in a $35 game.

Quotes of the night

Dave to C*nty: (after C*nty stole IJ’s remaining £2): “It’s not like you’ve not got form. You just robbed Dan and Lee”

C*nt to Vic: “When’s your birthday Vic? We’ll all club together to buy you a book on poker”

Life at Accenture

Dean was ‘entertaining’ the new grads with propaganda about the pyramid selling scam at Accenture. He then showed off the shiny dollar in his pocket from a country he’s never been to.

Dan made quick work of his time at the poker table and settled down for some work after two hands (although very unlucky) in the first game and went off to work after about 10 hands of the second game. With property magnate Dean away, Dan waffled on about problems selling one of his properties for the 30 mins he was at the table.

Conversation topics

Vic has ordered a custom-made £1500 bike. See pic below – I think the colour really suits you.









Nervous-looking newsreader (thanks to Dave)
















Story of the week

http://today.reuters.co.uk/news/articlenews.aspx?type=oddlyEnoughNews&storyid=2006-11-02T041323Z_01_T279755_RTRIDST_0_OUKOE-UK-JAPAN-NOODLES.XML&src=rss

Brainteaser

Congratulations to c*nt on solving most of last week’s brainteaser. See below for this week’s teaser.

It fell from a star,
But not very far.
It seems to fly
Above you and I.
Look further down to see
Cousin Jay below us three.
Jump down further to see an empty space.
Tell me what "it" is, and where is this place?