26 July (S&L's house) £20 loss – “Blind man’s bluff almost pays off for Gil”

Game 1 (1st Lee, 2nd You’ll like it, not a lot, but you’ll like it Dave, 9 players and 1 lucky c*nt)

Vegas Dave initially struggled to readjust dealing a four card flop – clearly he’s got too used to someone dealing for him. Dean – what’s your excuse?

In a big early hand, Gil hit the nuts with 3 3 3 10 10 versus Barry and Lewis (more on this later). Gil then KO’d Sharon (in her own home) with KKKK versus KKK AA. Ouch!

In a rather strange hand, Scott went all-in with J 10 and was called by Gil (AK) and Barry (22). The flop came 563 then 2 before a 4 arrived on the river for a 3 way split pot.

I then knocked out Scott with 666 versus A 10.

Gil also saw the end of Barry with K10 versus AQ (a 10 appearing on the flop) and then Dan.

Lee (AK) then tripled up against Jude (QQ) and Gil (A9).

Lewis fell to Gil with AJ versus Q3 (a lowly 3 hitting on the flop). I was next to fall to Gil with AK versus Q5. QK5Q6 appearing to my horror.

Dave then doubled up against Gil with 87 suited, which hit two pairs.

With three players left, Gil finally realised that an earlier comment from Dave didn’t mean that he couldn’t look at his cards when in the blinds. Playing the game properly proved to be Gil’s downfall as he collapsed to the might of Elite players Lee and Dave.

Dave doubled up against Gil and then Lee did the same before finally knocking out the blind man with two pairs versus a pair of Js.

Heads-up, Lee won with 89 versus 76 following a flop of 568.

Game 2 (1st Lewis, 2nd Barry), 9 players

I won early chips versus IJ with AK versus A9 before IJ doubled up against me (who hadn’t noticed the flop was dealt).

Dan (88) doubled up versus Dean’s A5 before falling to Dave.

In a big early pot, Lewis was all-in with A 10 and Scott (A4) and Barry (88) called. The river shafted Barry as a 10 gave Lewis the higher full house (QQQ 10 10).

Dean was KO’d by me with two pairs, while IJ fell to Dave who hit trips and a flush.

In the second board straight of the night, Barry got lucky with 7 10 versus Dave’s 7 Q. 34567 appeared on the table.

Lucky Lee (33) doubled up against my KQ suited.

In a massive hand for dirty bast@rd Lewis (AJ), he tripped up versus my AK and Dave’s Q8 knocking us both out in the process.

Lee was then massively unlucky against Barry with AK versus AQ hearts only for 3 hearts to be flopped and a fourth for good measure.

Heads-up the chips went first to Barry but then back to Lewis. In an excellent call, the flop was 997 and Barry was all-in with J8 (gut shot and straight flush draw). Lewis called with A8 and won to take the game.

Namesakes

Meet David Golding who has been secretly writing his own blog for years in Australia and has a number of things in common with Vegas Dave. Nice sock monkey.












http://pah2.golding.id.au/ (Dave's blog)

With special guest Gil present, I searched the all-revealing web to find this unsurprising story from Gil’s ulpan days.

http://64.233.183.104/search?q=cache:NHPM_wzdckgJ:www.jafi.org.il/papers/2001/march/jpmar29.htm+%22gil+remeny&hl=en&gl=uk&ct=clnk&cd=7

Conversation topics

Vegas Dave arrived back with a new perspective on poker realising the folly of bat beats in a £10 game versus a $1,000 game. Dave delighted the audience with his close-up magic tricks.

Is Superman Returns any good? Not according to Jude’s superman anyway.

Life at Accenture

Jude was keen to set the record straight that Dean is not just hard-working at work, but in the kitchen too (and she wasn’t referring to the drains). See photo below for Dean’s impressive culinary efforts.















Dan did Accenture proud putting in a 2 hour shift from 11pm and resembling a ghost in the corner for much of the night.

Mazel tovs

Happy birthday to IJ.

Quotes on the night

Dean on his au pair “She’s got small breasts, but really pert tits and a very tight arse. From the neck down she’s go the perfect body”. Where do you get the time Dean?

Pre-game banter

Barry: “I may be late as I have the dentist for a crown fitting first.”
Lee: “Just don’t ask them to put it on your head?”

Story of the week

Don’t say you haven’t been warned. Asking someone to pluck their beard is a no-no.

http://today.reuters.co.uk/news/newsarticle.aspx?type=oddlyEnoughNews&storyid=2006-07-27T064241Z_01_T342918_RTRIDST_0_OUKOE-UK-JAPAN-HARASSMENT.XML&src=rss

Special thanks

To Dave for the smart new dealer chip.

To Scott for dealing most of the first game. Beats getting caught by the police any day.

19 July (S&L's house) £20 loss – “Shame on Dean as Jude is promoted to partner”

Game 1 (1st Lewis, 2nd Ilan, 10 players)

Jude lost some early chips with 444KK versus James’ KKK44, but recovered quickly tripling up against Lewis and Barry with pocket Qs. Shortly after Barry (AA) was anally raped by Jude (JJ) when a miracle J appeared on the river. Jude became the earlier big leader following trip 4s against Lee.

I was out minutes later to Lewis who hit 2 pairs on the turn.

Jude won another big pot against Dan with a straight on the river before walking into James’s AA with 99.

Dean went all-in and Dan called with an up and down draw and hit the straight on the river to KO Dean.

IJ (AA) doubled up against Jude who’d hit top pair on the flop.

Lee was KO’d by James who had two pairs (AA 55).

In a key hand, Jude was all-in (with KJ), Lewis went all-in (AA), James went all-in (JJ) and Dan folded (66). Dan was left to regret this move as a 6 came on the flop. Lewis was massive leader, although in an amateurish exchange of chips, James just guessed how many he owed Lewis after the piles got confused.

Lewis KO’d Charlie and then James to build an unassailable lead. Ilan doubled up against Dan with A5 versus K10 and Lewis finished Dan off with trip 5s versus a flush draw.

In a text book heads-up battle (skirmish is probably a better description), IJ went all-in first hand with A2 and Lewis called with K9 and hit the K to win.

Game 2 (1st Barry, 2nd Dean), 9 players

Barry built an early lead with a heart flush before extending it with Q9 versus Dean’s pocket rockets hitting trip Qs on the turn.

At 11.46 I won my first and only hand of the night with an all-in desperation bluff that won me all of the blinds. I was out minutes later going all-in (25p raise) with top pair and a straight draw and going out to Barry’s (AK) lucky K on the turn.

Barry continues…

Lucky Lee was not so lucky when his 2 pairs on the flop caused him to go all in, only for Ilan to call with middle pair, and hit runner runner for a flush. Lee out.

In a huge hand, flop came 8 8 8. Dean, Alcoholic Scott and Ilan all call small raises. Turn card = 10 and river = Q. Scott goes all in, Ilan calls, Dean calls them both. Ilan has AQ (full house), Scott has Q 10 (also full house) and Dean has the other 8 (4 of a kind) and knocks Scott out. Ilan very short chipped, Dean big chip leader.

In another big hand, board was 4 3 2 2 4 - Barry had A4 - full house, Lewis had 3, 5 (2 pair & straight draw) - Lewis lost lots of chips, Barry catching up with Dean.

Another big hand !! - J 7 Q all of clubs on flop, Barry hit nut flush (A6 clubs) checks. Dan checks and on turn (9) Dan (8 10) hits straight – raises lots and Barry calls. River = 8. Dan loses lots of chips and is now short chipped.

Ilan next out, followed by Dan (knocked out by Lewis with pair of 7's).

Barry then took lots of chips off Lewis with an A that hit on the flop. Barry now chip leader.

Lewis (A paired on board) knocks Charlie out. Lewis, Dean and Barry left.

Lewis out next to big hand - Dean full house 6's over 2's, Lewis 2's over 6's. Unlucky Lewis.

Heads up Dean and Barry.

Pretty even for a while, then Barry starts eating away at Dean's chips until Barry raises one pile of black pre flop, Dean thinks and goes all in. Barry calls very quickly with pocket Aces to Dean's 6 2 off suit (nice bluff !!). Aces hold. Barry wins for 6th time in 7 weeks !!

Prison photos

Here’s Scott Haber fresh from a night in the cells.















Namesakes

Meet Daniel Graham who gave up an enticing career formatting paragraphs to play football for Middlesbrough. Not sure which is worse.
















See http://www.carling.com/football/middlesbrough-fc/danny-graham.html for full biography.

Let me introduce Victor Arotsky, a well-known local bin-man.








Finally, meet own very own filmmaker - Lewis Cohen. You'd think he'd know to open his eyes with that job.





http://www.galafilm.com/roadstories/thekrokers/lewis.htm

Conversation topics

Fridge freezers (sad!)

Website of the week (nominated by Lee)

You would not have thought there was much demand for this…

http://www.beedogs.com/

Pet of the week

















Guess the cat’s name to win the mini table tennis table.

Life at Accenture

Dean has had so much spare time on his hands that he has created a ‘high tech’ and snappy-named website to advertise his property empire in Leicester. See http://www.landlords-uk.org.uk/landlord.asp?id=8975. Accenture’s clients must really benefit from such high tech skills and creativity.

Mazel tovs

Congrats to Jude on her promotion to partner. Shame on you Dean! Still, if you don’t make it at Accenture, a successful career as a plumber is on the cards (not on Barry’s s#ite cards mind).

Congrats to Lewis on a creditable fifth place in the school sports day fathers’ race.

Quotes on the night

Jude: “Do you want to see my tadpoles?” Don’t know why women have these funny names for them.

Barry: “A badger’s got in your drain”
Lee: “Really?”
Barry: “No”
Lee: “It could have been a small one”

Dean: “We’re having a BBQ on 27 August, Sunday night”
Barry: “I’ll be in Manchester”Dean: “Yes!!!”
Barry: “I’ll come back then”
Dean: “It’s actually on Sat night”

12 July (S&L's house) £20 loss – “Youngs’ (almost) spit-roasted on an open fire”

Game 1 (1st Barry, 2nd Lee, 8 players)

Jude started promisingly with a straight. A 10 clubs would have brought the first royal flush on the table.

I won early chips against Sharon with A high flush before losing them to Barry’s AA. Jude then made the first of a couple of good reads on the night calling my raise with 77.

Barry was bolstered by a full house 10 10 10 55 versus Jude.

In a big hand Sharon was knocked out when all-in with an imaginary straight. Lee tripled up with AA. Scott with the chance to spit roast the Youngs was committed with top pair, but should have known better when up against lucky Lee.

Scott then held AA and tripped up on the turn.

In the second big hand of the night I was knocked out with A 10 suited versus Barry AJ and Jude 88. Jude tripled up and Barry took the rest of my chips.

In another comeback worthy of Lazarus, Lee held 33 and was all-in versus Jude’s 88. Scott started dealing and an 8 came to Jude’s delight. Unfortunately for Jude, Scott was dealing from the wrong pack and when the right flop was dealt surprise surprise lucky Lee hit the 3 he needed. The dirty winker.

Jude exited a few minutes later to her tormentor Lee (99) who’d hit broadway.

Dan then pretended he had a straight by going all-in. Scott actually had the straight and knocked Dan out.

Barry and Scott were the leaders with Lee short-stacked until he hit QQQ JJ to move into second position.

In a big finish to an otherwise dull game, Scott was all-in (A8) and Lee followed all-in (A3 clubs). Barry thought and also went all-in (A3 hearts). Three of the first four cards were hearts and it was all over. Lee took second by virtue of having more chips than Scott going into the hand. Scott was delighted with his hard-earned third place.

Game 2 (1st Lee, 2nd Dean), 8 players

IJ and Lewis arrived to replace the ladies.

Scott started well with a full house 999 77 against me and then immediately KO’d Barry with AA versus 77.

I followed shortly afterwards losing more chips with a pair of Aces versus Ilan’s straight on the flop and then going all-in with 99. Dan went all-in with 10 10 and Lewis called with AK and hit both – the dirty winker.

Lucky Lee continues the blog:

Following Lewis dismissal of the Yorkshire contingent there was general agreement that if anyone
could choose 3 players to go out first then B J D would be high among the wish list - well done
Lewis.

7's continue to feature prominently when Lee 7 7 in hand raises small pre flop - called by Lew &
Ilan - flop comes 7 4 7 - Lee checks to river (if anyone looked closely they would see him praying for someone to hit something!) Finally Ilan obliges - hits a straight on the river & raises - Lee re-raises - Ilan in a very impressive moment of clarity smells a trap and just calls - but he's taken a hit.

The next memorable hand see's Lew raise with 44 on the turn - he's now got 4444, unfortunately lack of discipline - he's had to change his underwear mid hand - everyone folds after the river - Lew takes it.

12.30 am - still Scott, Dean (visibly wilting), Lew, Lee & Ilan. Ilan plays his usual joker - goes
down to just a few chips and all in - lee does his usual call to Ilan - Ilan turns over AA v Lee's
KQ - - Flop comes KQ3 -lee thinks finally... turn is a 6 river a 3 - dean recovers consciousness
just long enough to correctly spot that Ilan has won then promptly falls back into coma state.

Next its Lewis turn - he's all in with pants - Lee calls with pocket pair - Lew hits 4 runners to
make a straight - calls himself a little sh#t much to everyone’s agreement (save for dean who is
precariously close to falling from his chair)

dean then remarkably starts to raise some pots - he could play the game with his eyes closed - he is approx 70% of the time and now has a big chip lead.

Lewis finally succumbs - feigns relief and is gone. He's followed by Scott - down to 3 - 1.20am
- what happened to Dave's 2 pack idea?? Dean is somehow still awake - stirring himself for one
final assault - Lee goes all in with K 10 suited having flopped straight and straight flush draw-
dean calls with top pair - a minor setback to his chip stack but puts pressure on Ilan.

Ilan then goes all in and is all out - time to clear up llan - we are heads up - its 1.30 - dean
looks determined (in an almost passed out kind of way)

Game moves fast - Lee gets back to even chips - all ins, folds until finally - 2am - Lee has top
Q's pair dean 2nd pair 10's - lee's all in Dean calls - flop brings a Q and J - followed by J -
full house - game over.

Blast from the past (new feature)

In my spare time at work, I’ve started google searching our poker posse to name and shame with memories from their past. This week it’s Barry turn. I found a lovely photo (love the computer) on Barry and Caroline’s very own website.



The site is no longer ‘live’ but some of the photos and content are fortunately (unfortunately for Barry’s sake) accessible at www.archive.org (just put the web address into the wayback machine and click on take me back and then access the most recent version of the site) – this is a useful tip for searching the historic web. There is enough material here to fill the blog for weeks (our wedding story and Barry at University are my personal highlights). Send your photos confidentially to me (discretion assured*).

*Discretion is not actually assured.

Namesakes (new feature)

Meet Scott Haber, Office Managing Partner at San Francisco law firm, Latham & Watkins

http://www.lw.com/attorney/default.asp search for Haber and select Scott for Scott’s full bio.

Also, meet James Young, Lecturer at Cardiff Law School.

http://www.law.cf.ac.uk/staff/YoungJR

Finally, let me introduce Sharon Young (no relation to James above as far as I can tell), Fashion Designer and company owner.

http://www.sharonyounginc.com/ click on ‘Sharon’ at the top for her biography.

Dave in Vegas

Dave’s exploits to date include:

Chatting to Ross Boatman, Ram Vaswani and Tony Bloom on the plane.

175th place in first tournament out of approx 1200 (very impressive) - lasted 7 hours and was at one point sat next to Phil Gordon.

Second tournament lasted two hours, but then bounced back in some style winning $1,600 on the casino poker table.

Greg Raymer held a door open for Dave. Dave also flicked ash on Daniel Negraneau.

By the way, well done on donating your brother’s sweepstake winnings back to Wizo. Did you tell him?

Conversation topics

With standby buttons on TVs set to be outlawed, Dean will have to finally learn how to switch on and off a TV without the remote.

Kashrut update

I can confirm that Skittles are parev and it is the crispy M&Ms that are not kosher. All other M&Ms are fine.

Website of the week

http://www.catsthatlooklikehitler.com/

Life at Accenture

Dan was allowed out to play by both bosses (work and Gabs) and revelled in his freedom. Working until 2.30am the previous morning, Dan was feeling fresh as a daisy. Dan’s late working hours may be more to do with the fact that he gets quite excited by the vibrations from his laptop. Dean arrived shortly after his chips had been run down by the blinds.

OFFICIAL WARNING !!
After Dan's admission to obtaining sexual gratification from petrol pumps, Lee has been forced to implement a UK ban on him from all Total sites - his picture will also be forwarded to UKPIA to be circulated amongst the other majors.

NB- allegedly, the official warning needs to go to Jude. Too late though, as 78.4% of all UK petrol stations now have Dan on a black list.

5 July (S&L's house) £0 profit – “Bravo galácticos”

Game 1 (1st Lee, 2nd JJ, 10 players)

Dave hit an early full house with 55544 versus Charlie. I then took a big pot from Jude with trip 8s versus pocket 10s before losing quite a few chips to Barry with 33 versus 99.

In a big pot, Barry (JJ) KO’d Jude (A6) and Lewis (AQ). Building a decent lead now, Barry knocked Charlie out.

If I’d have held onto my 10 8 there would be have been the first three way split pot.

Scott doubled up against Dave flopping AAAJJ. Nice!

Guest smoker Dan arrived before being ushered away by Gabs.

Sharon doubled up against Barry’s 10 3 all-in bluff and repeated the feat with KQ versus Barry’s A 10.

In a record burn, we had 4 cards burned providing an alternative flop and turn. First Scott showed me his two hole cards, then 1 card was mis-dealt and a fourth card was dealt too early. Where was Vic I hear you ask. It was in fact Charlie who dealt this wonderful hand.

Sharon doubled up a third time with trip As and then KO’d Scott with AJ versus Q9.

Dean was knocked out by Dave and in a big hand for Lee, Lee doubled up against Barry with K6 versus A2.

Dave went all in and was called by Sharon who hit the nut flush on the turn.

Barry went all in with KJ (top pair) and Lee (A2) hit an A to double up. Lee also had a straight flush draw after the flop.

Frustrated at seeing my chips being whittled away with piss poor hands, I went all-in with 5 2 (suited) and Sharon (A 10) and Barry (KJ) followed. I was feeling bullish and announced my confidence to lots of laughter when the hole cards were turned over. Barry hit a J on the flop but I hit 5 and then a lovely 2 on the river to send Barry packing and dent Sharon’s chips. Who’s laughing now! All I can say is that it’s a good job Dave was not on the receiving end of this bad beat as he’d be heading to prison on a murder charge rather than packing his bags for Vegas.

I then KO’d Sharon hitting trip 4s.

Heads-up it was the galácticos – Lee and my good self with a fairly even chip stack. Lee (QQ) won a monster hand tripping up on the flop and it was soon over.

Game 2 (1st Barry, 2nd Lewis), 8 players

Lee was knocked out very early with pocket rockets as Charlie (two pairs on the flop) hit a flush on the river.

In a big early pot Charlie (KK) KO’d Scott (QQ).

I picked the wrong time to raise £7.50 with JJ as Lewis had AA to double up.

Dean hit a full house JJJ44 against Charlie. Ilan then did a Vic assuming he’d won with AQ versus A10 (Lewis) only for a 10 to hit.

Nobody spotted my rather obvious tell as I let one go after hitting AAAJJ on the flop versus Dean’s A7 to double up. I then exited to Barry’s KK with A 10.

Barry continues…

Last four – Charlie (big chip leader), Lewis, Dean & Barry. Dean (A10 I think) lost lots of chips to Barry (JJ) and then out in the next hand or so also to Barry. In quite a big hand, Charlie (KQ) went all in on the turn, after deliberating for ages - board was J J 10 6 (Barry- 10 8) - straight never came for Charlie, down to Barry & Lewis. Few hands heads up and with a 10 on the board and 10 7 in his hand, and short chipped, Lewis went all in. Barry called (10 5) and unfortunately for Lewis, and luckily for Barry the turn was a 5 (2 pairs). Barry wins. Lewis 2nd. Finished @ 1.00am

Conversation topics

Jude and Dean were still full from their 17 course meal at The Fat Duck restaurant costing £250. Maybe your Grandma’s right Jude! (joke only!).

Dave’s off to live the dream at the World Series of Poker in Las Vegas. Getting in some practice, Dave sported his borrowed shades and took his bad beat as graciously as Phil Hellmuth.

The dirty bast@rd Ronaldo was booed from all quarters during the World Cup semi final game with winners France. Cheeky winker.

We saw video footage of Ilan and Dean’s sky dive. Ilan didn’t look at all scared on the plane.

Slightly more scary was seeing (not sure anyone watched for very long) someone’s arse being bolted together on TV – must have been up for a long stretch in prison.

Quotes of the week

Opening line of the person that made Lewis redundant this week “we’ve ordered you a taxi”. Very considerate. Take them to the cleaners Lewis.

Barry “I’ve got £8 on Germany and Italy to win”.
Charlie “But that’s impossible”.

Mazel tov

Mazel tov to Vicky and Victor on the birth of Annie Freya. May she be blessed with all of Vicky’s qualities.

Life at Accenture

Dan ducked out of tonight’s game having been working until 5am the previous morning. Dean arrived at a respectable 9.30pm. Not so sure about Dean’s partnership potential after hearing it took him 10 minutes to turn on his TV after someone turned it off properly (sparked a debate about recycling and green issues).

Product of the week

http://www.wee-goal.com/

Elevation by Alan Shearer

http://www.sky.com/skynews/video/videoplayer/0,,31200-shearer_050607,00.html

I suspect his daughter won’t be getting any pocket money this week.

Wimbledon quote of the week

A pissed David Hasselhoff on being kicked out of Wimbledon “Do you know who I am? I’m the Hoff”.

http://www.eurosport.com/tennis/wimbledon/2006/sport_sto920461.shtml

Family Fortunes

We asked 100 people what Dave would do if he gets a bad beat in Las Vegas.

The top answer was to stand on the table and take a dump.